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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

What happens to the family home?

9 replies

Etoile1 · 15/10/2024 18:39

Has anyone had any recent experience with being able to stay in the family home until children are 18?
Just starting divorce and I am worried about housing. We own the property together but I look after the children and do all school runs etc.He works 12 hours a day 5/6 days a week so I have always been the default parent.
I am a TA in a school and work full time for 20k and he earns over 80k per year.I cannot afford to buy him out and if we sell I will not be eligible for another mortgage.My savings will be over 16k so will then have no universal credit.My money from the house will be spent on rent.He will be able to buy another property.
Anyone been in a similar situation?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Ilovegoldies · 15/10/2024 18:47

How old are the children?

Whatamitodonow · 15/10/2024 18:49

have you seen a solicitor?

in my brothers case how it was decided as they looked at the maximum mortgage she could get. Then the increase was paid to DB, and she kept the house.

so I think they had a 70k mortgage and the max aip offered to her was 100k. So DB got 30k to “buy him out” the house. House was worth about £350k.

really shitty for DB as he’s never managed to buy- a studio or 1 bed meant he couldn’t really ave the kids overnight, and the £30k went on rent very quickly. While she’s now sat on £500k+. He is not a high earner- about the same has her.

the buy out was forced as she had a new partner living there, and apparently you can’t have an arrangement to sell/buy out at 18 in that case as the new partner would have financial claim as well?

the kids were still young (under 5) and they were in the south east so there was no option to sell and split the money either as it would not have stretched to another home suitable for the kids.

Original poster
Etoile1 · 15/10/2024 19:33

My children are 9, 11,13 and 16

OP posts:
Original poster
Etoile1 · 15/10/2024 19:36

Yes have started the divorce but now have to sort finances in more detail with her.If we have an agreement in place between us re finances she will just draft the consent order for a fixed fee. If not it is185 per hour and prob 30+ hours work.I cannot afford this at all.

OP posts:
ShinyShona · 15/10/2024 20:30

Mesher Orders are not very common these days but it depends on all the circumstances. A few things you need to be aware of:

  1. Teaching assistants won't be considered full time because they only work 6 hours a day term time only. The settlement will normally assume that you can work full time once your youngest is in secondary school. So if you are earning £20k now, it might be assumed that you can earn around £30k full-time.

  2. The settlement will also assume you will take reasonable steps to improve your earning capacity. You won't necessarily be expected to earn megabucks but a small increase that would improve your earning capacity.

  3. The 16 year old might be 18 by the time this settles so won't be included in your housing needs.

  4. If Mesher Orders are used, they don't normally last as long as 9 years. Also, the longer they go on for, the higher the percentage the non-resident will receive at the end, especially if they remain named on a joint mortgage. Right now you might get 70-80% of the equity but in 9 years time it will almost certainly be 50%. You might find your position even worse than it is now (bear in mind if you don't improve your earning capacity you'll get only 50% equity and as child maintenance will have run out your mortgage capacity will have plummeted too).

  5. If you cannot afford the mortgage on your own, it's unlikely you will be allowed to stay. Two reasons for that. First, he probably won't be considered a high enough earner for spousal maintenance or to pay a share of your mortgage, so if it is unaffordable then it has to be sold. Second, if he doesn't want a Mesher Order it would be very easy for him to quit his job for 6 months to make it unaffordable. The court might be able to award more equity in those circumstances, but they cannot force him to work.

  6. If you need to keep him named on the mortgage for a long time, this makes a Mesher Order much less likely. It would also be a bad idea to do so because whilst named on a joint mortgage they can prevent you lengthening the term or taking out a new fixed deal.

  7. You won't be allowed to borrow more on the mortgage because it would dilute his share.

  8. You might have to pay interest only to afford the mortgage. The court will prefer this to spousal maintenance. So you potentially won't pay off any of the loan.

  9. You will be responsible for most of the maintenance. In theory he could be ordered to pay a share, but not on £80k unless it was structural.

  10. He might decide he wants to scale back his work and have the children more. It is nowhere near as easy to compel people to work as some solicitors claim it is. If he doesn't want a Mesher Order he could easily take advantage of your low pay by taking a sabbatical or a career change and the house might have to sell anyway.

  11. Bankruptcy stays on a credit file for 6 years. I think repossession is the same. He might choose this 6 year problem over 9 years stuck on someone else's mortgage.

Obviously orders can vary and you can mitigate some of the risks in the way they are written. However, if someone doesn't want a Mesher Order it doesn't take a lot for them to undermine the order and make life quite difficult for the occupant. For that reason I would strongly advise to only have one as a last resort (although the chances of getting one for most people are slim, but it depends on all your circumstances).

millymollymoomoo · 15/10/2024 20:49

Are there any other assets?
wgat is the value of equity and also mortgage?
on 80k its unlikely he’d have to pay spousal ( and thus us offset in uc anyway) and unlikely he’d have to pay towards mortgage and bills so as per pp if you can’t afford to release him from the mortgage and bills it’s unlikely

a court cares about housing of children but this does not need to be mortgaged.

have you spoken to him about what his thoughts are on financial split? What cms will he pay ?

RowdyTiel · 15/10/2024 20:59

Very unlikely in this situations for the reasons stated by pp.

Mesher orders are vanishingly rare these days, and his salary would not be considered particularly high.

A court would likely order the house sold and equity split unless you could afford to buy him out.

You would likely need to rent and claim child maintenance. £80k is well below the spousal maintenance threshold.

ShinyShona · 15/10/2024 21:03

RowdyTiel · 15/10/2024 20:59

Very unlikely in this situations for the reasons stated by pp.

Mesher orders are vanishingly rare these days, and his salary would not be considered particularly high.

A court would likely order the house sold and equity split unless you could afford to buy him out.

You would likely need to rent and claim child maintenance. £80k is well below the spousal maintenance threshold.

There is no threshold. Older couples might have SM obligations on lower incomes. But I concur it is unlikely on top of CM obligations

MillyHilly99 · 05/10/2025 21:53

Hey, I'm in similar position. Just wondering what the outcome was?

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