Hi. I am desperately looking for some advice/ guidance. Last year November my ex husband was arrested for domestic violence ( controlling cohesive behaviour, stalking and harrasment) he was emotionally abusing me and my son who will turn 4 in January. Social services were involved but told me there wasn't insufficient information. My IDVA was and still is extremely helpful. There was a MARAC meeting on my behalf and both of us me and my son were classified as high risks victims of DV. We were moved to a new place where my ex didn't know about. At the time he was on bail so there was no contact but he would still make comments to my son about me. He has used my family against me, he would message my friends and would tell them I am not well mentally etc. We would have third party to arrange a pick and drop of of my son. In March my ex found out where I live even tho I didn't tell him and none of my friends would tell him that. He was released from bail as there was no further action (I was told it was was word against the other)
we finally got divorced in June. At this point I thought he would let me go but he didn't. As per child maintenance services he is allowed to have my son 1-2 nights per week but on many occasions he would keep my son longer. He would take my son from pre school which really affects him and his routine. Two weeks ago my sons behaviour changed he has become aggressive towards children and me which happened before when his dad was calling me names on front of my son. His dad returned him home on Sunday. On Monday i collected my son who was asleep and took him home apparently at this point nursery told me about the bruise but I don't remember anything. On Tuesday I was told him behaviour changed and that he was pushing other kids etc
after school I had a chat with my son and asked him where is this behaviour from as no one ever hits him at home, there is no rough games etc. He then replied to me that it's his dad, shortly after I discovered a bruise on him that was on Wednesday and when I asked him he said that dad did it. On Thursday I've reported everything to social services and when I went to pick my son up I shown a photo of the bruise to the staff at preschool.
I've reported it to social services who didn't do much about it and told me that his dad can still have him.
they told me they have no concerns they asked my ex to bring our son for a check up in the hospital telling me that the nursery informed me about it on the beginning of the week which yet again I don't remember.
social services then decided to leave my son with his dad until Monday as they were coming to do assessment with me. During the assessment I was told that they called my ex and told him bring my son home but he said he didn't feel safe for him to be with me. Social services didn't do anything to support it as I was told they can't. On same day my ex has messages several people telling them that I was put on protection plan and that I have been emotionally abusing my son which is a lie. On Tuesday my ex called me and told me he will return my son on Thursday if I will work with him and social services which was always the case as I need their support. All of the sudden my ex dropped my son of on Wednesday to school.
i was told by my IDVA support worker to tell the nursery to tell me when he will come again as I should not give my son back to him because he won't return him again.
yesterday I told my ex that he won't be having my son this week as he can't be trusted he then came to the nursery and picked him up even tho he did not have my permission.
social services told me that my son is on protection plan and that they will be carrying on with their assessment. I am now scared they will take him away from me as my ex is very manipulative.
i have paid and applied for child court order on the 20th of September and still didn't hear anything back.
I wonder if there is anyone here who could give me some sort of advice as I am truly concern about his behaviour towards me and my son