Is it ever worth just staying "separated"?

[48wheaties]

We've been married for 14 years, separated for the past 4 ,as STBXH left just after the first lockdown in 2020. I was happy that he left due to lack of intimacy, unkindness, physical and verbal abuse of our autistic son etc. When he first left I wondered whether we should stay separated, but he insisted on divorce for a clean break. The divorce has not been finalised because we cannot agree on a financial settlement.

This year, he bought a house, cash and moved 2 hours drive away. He sees the dc (15 and 17) once a month but they don't really want to see him. So I have them 99% of the time, all holidays.

Our joint assets are 3m . The house I live in is worth about 1.2m and my lawyer says that given the mental load of being a lone parent (both kids have school avoidance, mh issues, autism) I am entitled to his half of the house and a lump sum of at least 500,000. STBXH disagrees. For context i work part time in a professional role, which pays well. He doesnt work and lives off a capital lump sum investment.

Should i insist we go to court and quit stalling? It'll cost me £20,000+ but would it be worthwhile?

Personally I would divorce and finalise it . You never know what life throws your way so while you have assets now and will get a lot if assets that may not anyways be the case.

you may find a court agrees 50:50 split of assets based on the £ available. While you have predominant care, you seem to suggest a good income part time and needs well taken care if with a £1.5m share of assets.

alternatively a court may award slightly higher overall split in your favour but that would come down to a judge on the day

In your scenario where you have a nice job and will get some assets. I would want to get shot of him legally as soon as possible..

if joint assets are 3million, then I'd think ending up with 1.5 million would be the start point but you seem to be saying 1.1 million and it includes more because you do all the children stuff? I assume you have your own pension for the shortfall which you are including too?

The longer you leave it, the more of his capital he will have drawn down so there will be less asset to split. Presumably he is fit to work and is choosing not to, or is he retired?

Anyway I think if you trust your lawyer I'd follow their advice.

Thanks, will speak to my lawyer this week.