Which house?

[schtompy]

Going slightly loopy, trying to decide which house to go for.
Gong through a divorce, our house has sold subject to survey, I found a house that needs doing up, think eccentric and 70’s! However the survey has kicked up more investigations, asbestos, flat roofs and flooring (sulphate)..it just seems more money needing to be thrown at it and I’ll be train to live in the middle of it with my pets. Once it’s done up it will be lovely, including the outside which is a bomb site too, but the thought keeps getting me down, yet it’s in a quiet cul de sac which is what I wanted.
I have found a town house with a small garden ( I like gardening) but it only needs painting and decorating to my taste. The last one is in the middle, needs painting, a new kitchen (but you can live with the one that’s in) and bathroom needs doing, and a decent garden, but it’s closer to a busier road.
Going through separation/divorce is hard enough and I’m feeling so overwhelmed sad happy eurgh a rollercoaster, I can’t make a decision, I just want to know where I’m going to live. Any help advice would be so appreciated. Thank if you got this far..!

How much closer to a busy road

What pets? If it's cats not the busy road. I wouldn't go for the first one because it sounds like a money pit and will require a lot mentally too which I wouldn't want when divorcing, it just sounds stressful.

I mean the first one will keep you busy and distracted from your sadness and it will reflect your own healing journey as you renovate and bring it back to life in a way, I guess.

Since you like gardening the second runner up with the larger garden is the last house closer to the road. Garden is good for pets, but road not great for them.

Sorry I'm probably not helping😬

No you’re right, yes cats, and they’re not used to busy roads being country bumpkins, so it terrifies me, they would have allotments behind the house to stalk prey in but how many gardeners would like the cats using their space as a giant litter tray I’m not sure!
Yes the first one I can put my own stamp on, including getting a new kitchen fitted before Xmas preferably, not realistic but you can live in some bloomin hope..it’s just I’ll have to live in it whilst it’s happening..it’s a real wowzer inside! I guess it won’t be too bad, I just don’t know..

It doesn’t help that him indoors is dismissive of my surveyors report and has found out his problems on his house aren’t so bad..so I’m alright Jack attitude..

Close enough, for me to feel uncomfortable..I guess I’ve answered my own question haven’t I.?

Think carefully how much of your time you want to be spending doing diy. I divorced mid 40s and went for the ‘put your own stamp on it ‘ but 15 years on there’s still so much needs doing and frankly I cba. Seriously considering swapping for a new build where I can paint and change the decor but don’t need to be constantly weighing up which of the ‘big jobs’ need doing next

Middle house sounds like the one to me!

Thanks , This is what I’m wondering, even though I would get people in to do the kitchen bathroom and ceiling painting (and stairs) as I can’t see well enough or balance (because I can’t see) and the same with the garden, I can heave soil around n plant but not lay turf etc, neve4 mind the roofs! It’s all £££££ and I have a budget, if I could find a new build with a big enough garden..I’m already looking at the jobs thinking can I be asked..then I change my mind! WTH

I was in a similar position and I went for option 1 in the end.

I also looked at a house over the road which was already done. Budget wise, I wouldn't have been able to do much to it as it was top.emd of my budget. The thought of leaving "my" house and moving into someone else's house was breaking my heart. This was I'm making it my own.

yes, it is chaos at the moment, but I'm in control for the first time in decades, so I don't mind.

First house needs an awful lot doing to it, plastering decorating new kitchen bathroom carpets windows doors (all) part of roof and boiler plus pulling off horrendous enormous fire surround, which might pull plaster off behind too..I keep trying to look at it section by section but the sink is usable but cooker not, so priority would be a new kitchen, what with Xmas coming up I fear not getting it in before..the garden is a great size but needs at least 1500 spending ..not even got a lawn!
I'm not so attached to marital home, put my stamp on it but it's an old property, we would have been doing it up till we dropped! Beautiful but no, dark draughty and costs a lot to heat!
is it the old saying of shitty house good location or??

1st one sounds like a money pit - asbestos and a new roof? Definitely not. You would need to rent elsewhere for a year plus whilst gutting it. Bin that option.
2 or 3 - look at the relative prices vs renovations needed vs space & whether there is a chain in place. This is a very stressful time - a low stress move would be the best option, which might come down to the seller's chain status.

2 flat roofs, need replacing, and the asbestos is in the garage roof, as well as recommended to get the floor in the house tested for red ash..I’m going to be out of pocket before I’ve even bought the bloody house, electrical and gas safety too need to be done.,it’s a good area, I know I wouldn’t lose £ on it if I did it up, but I don’t know if I have thee energy to live in it whilst all around me is chaos , not unpacking properly for ages..eurgh, decisions in the middle of a divorce too..I hate this

I think house A sounds way too much. Perhaps if you can go back and seriously renegotiate on price?

I’m off to chat with the solicitor and then ea and see what can be done, I’ve totted up the work and I can’t afford all of it, I’ve not even factored in the garden, it all costs so much nowadays! I’m not hugely diy handy, bar painting, grouting etc, and with arthritis in my hands it’s hard to push grip work too. I’ll have to see what else there is on the market, with ours sold, I’m aware of holding everyone up in the chain, ⛓️‍💥 stbxh has somewhere..so it’s lil ol me and the animals ..

Well I’ve arranged for a gas safety inspection to be done, along with the electrics and a test to see if it’s asbestos in th garage ceiling (inside).. however when I informed the vendor of the gas engineer going in and if he found any unsafe appliances, he would have to turn them off/cap them, he was not happy! Said he had to leave the heating on for the building an insurance, which I know to be correct but if an appliance lie the boiler is unsafe then that trumps the bloody buildings insurance? Surely! Anyhow I’ve arranged that if there are any issues the engineer will ring the estate agents who in turn will either ring the vendor or take the call themselves..I’ve yet to speak to the engineer who wants a word first..hopefully he’ll ring me tomorrow ..
in the meantime, I’m losing the will to live, and truly feel like running away, far away..after him inside denied having messages on his phone yesterday of women, and said I was imagining it, I’m done with him, that and not feeling well with this bug that’s doing the rounds..I feel so low it’s ridiculous..plus the form e’s came back, interesting reading…
Soo I’ve made a new viewing at another property, nearer a busier road, not so quiet but the house is done up already, I’d only have to paint and design the garden and hoping to ask to see another with the same agent in the morning..tying to keep my chin up but some days it’s so bloody difficult…please someone tell me it gets easier..not sleeping well at all is not helping, if my bags get much bigger I’ll gave to buy an eye bag bra.

If you have cats then don't move to a busier road. The guilt you will feel will be overwhelming.

I took over 2 months to find my next house as nothing out there seemed right. I was about to make a panic offer on a house with the least amount of problems (but still annoyingly long) when the one I'm buying popped up. It's smaller than I would like but realistically I'm finding it harder to clean anyway so it's probably better for me long term. Keep looking

House 2 sounds like the best option to me. House 1 sounds soul destroying and House 3 road is not an option. Good luck!

Funnily enough I have found a little bungalow that I’m going to enquire about today, end of cul de sac, smaller than I’d like, but near walks for dogs and space for cat. The only thing that would need ding is the bathroom made into one..with a bath not just a wet room and the garden ripping up the flagstones and having a bit of green!
The house with the slightly busier road is sooo nice inside, hard to replicate in smaller bungalow..I’m just aware that time is ticking and the buyers of my house will want to move in before Xmas I bet…