Feeling despondent and overwhelmed today

[ArtfulBear]

I am at the beginning of what will probably be a long journey to leave a 13 year relationship. We have a 4 year old together. He will not deal with his own mental health problems and I don't think I can tolerate his silent treatment, stonewalling and occasional outbursts of bad temper any longer. But today feels quite hopeless. I've rung up about two rentals to view, both have already gone despite having been listed yesterday and the day before. Have been to one viewing but it's a pool of applicants and the landlord picks his favourite, so not feeling hopeful against the others with with two incomes and landlord references. I'm just feeling so sad and angry that he won't sort his shit out so that we can be happy together. I don't want to leave, I want to be happy and I think I have to leave to eventually achieve that.

I left a 20 year relationship under very similar circumstances. I believed he’d miss me, sort himself out and we’d reconcile later.

Actually he immediately got worse and ended up with a conviction for harassment and stalking against me and I would never have predicted that. Years later now and on reflection, I should have left him much sooner.

You’re not responsible for another adult. Leave, and look after you.

Thanks @KitKatChonky . I know it's the best decision to find happiness, it's just feeling very hard today!

You are wise OP - how I wish I had your confidence and half the courage you have.

I would /should have left my DH many months ago. But I'm living in a waking nightmare every day never knowing what to say, or do.
If I dont hold his hand, I'm ignoring him. If I do say whats bothering me or try to gauge any empathy from him, it gets fractious and rage in arguments; that often last for days until I'm worn out. Exhausted.
He's fond of playing the victim and blaming me - and all because I stopped him "playing the single man and for blocking his work colleague from his phone. There was months of messages and selfies. Even when I called him out, he continued. Oh he denied it was going nowhere. He wasn't after her, he said so many times. Apparently, here's the funny bit. He didn't even like her!

So well done OP you are strong- you got this.