50/50 shared care - when did this become the 'starting point'

[IncognitoForLife]

I think I have been given some poor advice by my previous solicitor and would like to make a complaint, without incurring further costs by taking separate legal advice.

In 2021 my solicitor advised me that the children would live with me and stay with their dad EOW + 1 evening a week. I was then told by my barrister (when I had already started the divorce) that the starting point was 50/50 shared care. I was so blind-sided by this that I didn't question it at the time.
Can anyone please let me know when 50/50 became the starting point. An internet reference would help me word my complaint, if anyone has one.

Most parents who do 50:50 have everything the kids need at both houses so they're not packing. Their bags constantly. They just have 2 homes. We do week on week off so there's no back and forth several times a week. I know people do other 50:50 schedules where it's like that as I imagine that being a bit unsettling for the kids.

When you look into the stats, it implies that courts slightly favour fathers in their decision making, and fathers nearly always get exactly what they request, sadly, even in cases where there's been abuse.

The primary reason why so few fathers have 50/50 custody is because they don't want it or can't manage the school pick-up schedule due to work commitments.

The second is that they either can't pay for court, or think it wouldn't be worth it as they've been told that the courts favour the mother so they are better off settling for whatever they have.

Honestly op. I think you're on a hiding to nothing here. Your solicitor should never have guaranteed you any schedule as that is decided by the courts. I think you could write a letter complaining but you have zero chance of getting monetary compensation if that's something you're hoping for.
Surely though you must have realised at the time that it wasn't within a solicitors remit to dictate the custody schedule . He can only advise you on what was 'typical' which changes case by case .

As a former family law solicitor - I think it's unlikely that your solicitor advised you that strongly. She would have known that it is ultimately the decision of the court.

I also agree with PP that the age of your children may have made a difference - if you sought advice when your children were very young, the position now may well have changed

When you look into the stats, it implies that courts slightly favour fathers in their decision making, and fathers nearly always get exactly what they request

This is sort of true but in my experience, fathers almost never ask for more than 50:50 but it's not uncommon for mothers to ask for near 100% which is often, I am afraid to say, motivated substantially by money

Are you just looking to stick the knife in your solicitor?

If that is true, then it is not very intelligent on their part. The person they are divorcing still needs a home which will normally restrict the generosity of the asset split to the mother to an amount that doesn't tend to compensate for being unable to work full time. Child maintenance, even with 100% caring responsibilities, isn't likely to compensate for what someone earning average wages full time can make unless the paying parent is extraordinarily well paid.

I'm not an expert in statistics but anecdotally I would say the slight favour is probably because what fathers are asking for is reasonable. Sadly, a lot of fathers also fear false allegations being made (rightly or wrongly, though I have even heard that there are solicitors who will openly warn them about it because accusers can get legal aid) if they become acrimonious with mum about contact. They should be less fearful in my opinion because the courts will treat them fairly and allegations without evidence tend to only have a negative impact on the accuser.

It's been 50 50 for a good while but whether you have a case with your solicitor will depend entirely on what the conversation went like, the ages of your dc, the relationship their father has etc. if your question was what is the most common arrangement or what is the arrangement i should ask for it's quite different to what does the law start at then consider if it's in the child's best interests.

Far better is mediation and you both compromise on a solution

This. When it gets to court it's decided on a case by case basis.

One of the many reasons why I am out of family law is that it is so incredibly frustrating dealing with the unrealistic expectations of everyone in a divorce process.

It is very hard for people to wrap their heads around the fact that both people will have a drop in living standards.

Yes exactly this - more women than men will start by asking for something unreasonable. It's not unusual for women, against all professional advice, to seek to have their children 100% of the time basically just because that's what they want (and sometimes because they think that's the best way for them to get to keep the house). It's vanishingly rare for a man to try that.

I think 50/50 suits some kids and not others. My nephew would have thrived on it, one of my DC would have hated it. There’s no hard and fast rule. Kids as well as parents differ massively.

It wasn’t an issue for me as XH would have ran a mile from 50/50 which was good for my kids as he’s a massive EA twat.

Yes, it's a mixed bag. There are plenty of good fathers out there seeking more contact and being alienated. There are also plenty of women being forced to send their children to an abusive father who only wants 50/50 to hold control. I think the presumption should be 50/50, but it doesn't always work well.

@MrsSunshine2b I agree. It's very, very hard to know who is telling the truth and an awful lot of people are willing to tell some whoppers during a divorce. Luckily, overall, I think these acrimonious splits are the minority but I shake my head at some of what I have seen. It's the children who lose the most.