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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Kids 11 and 13 don’t want to go to their Dad

27 replies

Verysad1978 · 05/10/2024 08:15

My kids go to their Dad one night a week. We’re separated since January. They don’t want to go pretty much ever and now it’s getting to point of total refusal.
he has significant addiction issues. They say he does nothing with them and sleeps when they’re there. On the day after the night they stay they always go to their grandparents.
I only speak positively about him and going there. I also need the break. I’m exhausted.
He is a ball of anger so if they don’t go I’ll be blamed.
They are refusing to go today.
What do I do?

OP posts:

Lemonadeand · 05/10/2024 08:57

Can you maybe interact directly with the grandparents so they can keep the relationship going and you can get a break?

Original poster

Verysad1978 · 05/10/2024 09:00

Mumofoneandone · 05/10/2024 08:54

His behaviour when the children are with him is what's driving their request, nothing else. Why would the children want to be with someone who clearly had no interest in them.
You have facilitated contact for 9-10 months and it isn't working, so don't force it. Just make notes of what's happened over the months/what your children have said. Deal with the fallout if there is any later on.

Thanks. I will do this. I’ve perhaps overvalued their ongoing relationship with him and was foolishly hopeful he’d start doing more and engage more. That hasn’t happened and I can’t keep trying to make that happen.

OP posts:

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