Child impact report interim recommendations

[Sarahd3342]

Hi,

My stbxh are having disagreements over custody. He took me to court within 3 weeks of leaving. He would like 50/50 but I would like our 5yo to live with me and spend time/stay with dad. In the interim it says for the child to be picked up from school by dad 3 x a week and give back to me at 5.30pm and every sat and Sunday 9-5.30pm out in the community. to be reviewed after stbxh has completed a parenting course in 2 months. Why would this be suggested? Good quality time with dad at the weekend but at the expense I don't have any weekend time for the next 2 months? The report said time with dad had been limited since separation 2.5 months ago so is that why? No evidence of parental alienation was said in report. Allegations of abuse on both sides during marriage but no point in a fact finding. Final hearing in 2 months.

A couple of hours in the evening isn’t a lot of time, maybe the judge is trying to even out the time spent with both parents.

Do you have the opportunity to object? I would be asking for 1 weekend day each for sure. Evenings I'd probably go with for now but be clear it's a short term thing.

If the ex completes the parenting course then I suspect he will go back to his request for 50/50. If the child is seeing his father 3 times after school and at weekends then the increase to overnights won't be so great a jump. You don't want 50/50 but it seems to be popular with judges these days so you might have to accept that unless there are very good reasons not to, it may be what is finally agreed in court.

Why isn’t 50:50 appropriate and what schedule exactly are you proposing? And would you be happy with that schedule if it was your ex proposing what you are to him?

what time has he had since separation?

What good reason is there for your child to not stay over night with their father? Unless there’s abuse towards them you have no right to object.

But the OP is getting the child home on weekdays just in time to do dinner and bedtime and no quality time at the weekend. That doesn't sound fair to me. I think one full day each at the weekend is more fair for now

The interim arrangements doesn’t sound fair no, but we’re trying to assess what led them
here

and why op ex can’t have them 50:50

Hi, there was a safeguarding issue with stbxh. The report said he needs to show a certificate of completing a parenting course before moving on to overnights and obviously no further safeguarding concerns in the meantime.

I didn’t say I thought it was fair. I said I thought the judge might be trying to be fair in quite a literal way be evening up the waking hours.

That does seem
harsh then

is there any process to object?

Sorry if this turns out to be a dead end but in some jurisdictions (types of court) it is possible to ask for written reasons. Do you have a lawyer who could advise whether that is an option? If not, do you have the support of a social worker? They might be able to help you and your ex to negotiate a variation.
Sorry that you're going through this. At least your child had two loving parents. Hopefully you and your family get to a good place in time 🙏

We don't know that the ex is loving. There are safeguarding issues and he has to complete a parenting course - that doesn't indicate the most loving of parents. And 50:50? It's almost like the ex doesn't want to pay any maintenance.

I would be asking for an alternative. He would get more quality time than you. You'll just be doing bedtime, homework, etc. Glorified nanny.

Offer every other weekend for this plan.
Or you have them Saturday and ex on Sunday.

Also consider if your child does any clubs, if your child does one night a week I would say that you and ex should have two afterschool contacts and ex is able to attend the club but you'll be there facilitating it.

I do think that suggestion is very unfair.

I stopped contact with my ex and the kids because of concerns. We have a 4.5month wait between court dates, he was given three phone calls and 3 hours every weekend. You could offer video calls as a way to build contact with a third party supporting.

Feel for you!

@oviraptor21 perhaps wants more than 50% to receive maintenance…..

we don’t know his motivations