Cost of solicitors…

[Frazzled54]

So I’m £2K down already and we’ve not even sorted the financial order out yet… (it’s going to cost me best part of £1k to sort out a pension sharing order if EX agrees to my offer)

I feel so aggrieved that I’m spending obscene amounts of money for something that’s not been my doing! (Husband having an affair and wants a divorce!)

How much did people spend? I feel sick so far and if Ex won’t agree to my offer, we could end up in court! 🤢

My ex has spent £50k+ and I’ve spent £30k…it’s insane and completely disproportionate to the assets. I blame his solicitors who are leading him down the garden path for their own gain.

£15k here and I'm still not divorced and no longer have a solicitor. I just couldn't carry on paying. They did naff all for me. Save yourself some money and try to do this yourself. I wish I had.

£22k.

Debt for life.

I went through amicable. £1500 between us. But that is because we agreed everything. My parents spent £30k each

This is why people need to try really hard to negotiate between themselves and compromise along the way

i realise this is not always possible, of course I do, but the answer on mn to get angry and lawyer up, is not helpful in the majority of cases.

most people don’t have massive assets - a house and pension- and spending 10s of £k is not worth it.

re your question you can end up spending tens of thousands…. So it always comes down to

what assets are there
are you being fair and realistic ( in the eyes of the law)
how far disconnected are you-it’s not worth spending £30k to get 20k back
are there areas you can compromise on

if the above is not possible you can consider being litigant in person and do it yourself or only use solicitor for minimal things - eg to draft a consent order.

if you think about it as a business negation rather than emotional and winning /losing ( not saying you do that but alot of people do) it can become a lot clearer.

My total bill was about 5k. It was going to be more but my ex and I ended up meeting in a pub to agree the final details of the finances. We both didn't want the lawyers to get our money.

The issue is ego. Most of your joint assets are easy to divide up so usually 90% ish you can split agreeably between the two of you. It's that last 10% where the arguments happen. In my mind I renamed that the ego... and realised I will never get what I want regardless of what I think I deserve. Compromise and letting go is key to a cheaper divorce and retaining your sanity. Consider - in ten years time what will really matter to you?

Best of luck x

I spent £2k and said enough is enough. It was costing me hundreds every time they emailed me

Mine was amicable but we still spent £2.5K - I did get very curt with my solicitor when she tried to spend precious minutes of a phone call or meeting with conversation unrelated to my divorce

Thanks all

His offer wasn’t acceptable so I’ve had to propose an alternative. If he agrees to that then it needs drawing up and signing. Then we need to sort the PSO so I’m hoping I won’t spend much more.
He will need to pay to come off the mortgage/title deeds.

I’m hoping to keep the house so if I sell next year, it gives me some breathing space to sort money out.

We don’t speak anymore so communication is by text only about childcare.

@Frazzled54 I've nothing more to add except I hope it's gets sorted soon for you. Xx

How far disconnected are you ?

what is he proposing vs what you’re proposing - can you get to common ground in any points by you shifting a bit and he shifting a bit ?

if both parties dig heels in and refusing to move that’s where costs mount and you end up in court

His offer was a piss take as his pension is massive and mine not… so he wanted me to have the house but I was still out of pocket so I’ve gone back with a counter offer.
If he knocks this back then I will have to appeal to him for us to discuss an offer we are both happy with.
He has said he doesn’t want it going to court but his offer was knee jerk ‘throwing his toys out of the pram’ reaction after I asked him to move out after finding how much he had spent on the affair and how long it had been going on (so many lies from him!)
He’s money obsessed!
Hopefully we can sort the financial order and then I can get rid of my solicitor. I’ve got another £1k to spend but after that, it’s credit card!