Posting here for traffic. Apologies in advance because this is longer than I thought it would be, thank you to anyone who reads it to the end.
Currently in the early stages of separation/divorce from my abusive STBXH. We're attempting mediation on the advice of a solicitor, against my better judgement because of the abuse. But I'm doing what I've been told to do on that front basically.
Mediation seems to be rapidly deteriorating. He's asked for more time with the kids (currently has them 2 nights a week), but he doesn't want more overnights with them. He wants to pick them up after nursery, take them to the park for a couple of hours, then drop them back off at mine for bedtime. I've said no, that's too unsettling for the kids (who are toddlers) and too emotionally distressing for me to have to see him potentially 4/5 times a week handing the kids over. For context I've been diagnosed with PTSD by the NHS and am in a support group for DV survivors and also having therapy.
Because I said no to the extra contact on his terms, he's now trying to argue that I shouldn't be entitled to any of his assets or pension, because he believes he can make a good case that they're pre-marital assets and that I haven't contributed to them. I won't bore you with the specifics of the financials because this is long enough as it is. But basically he's trying to screw me over, so I'm pretty sure we'll be headed for court.
Meanwhile, I've just been offered an amazing new job. It's a really great opportunity for me and I could be waiting a while for another one to come up. I've put my career on hold for the last 3/4 years whilst having the DC and I really really want the job. BUT - currently, both me and ex work 4 days a week and the DC are in nursery 3 days, so we have a day off each with them. The new job is only being offered on a full time basis. I've asked and there's no scope for part time.
So my question is - if we end up in court would ex have any grounds to argue that he's the primary carer for the DC if I'm working more hours than him and he's the only one having a day off in the week with them? Either to screw me over financially or to get more contact with the kids?
We've had x3 social care referrals made due to his actions and I have the DV documented with the police/Women's Aid. I'm just shit scared that if I take this job he'll use it against me somehow. I've already had to ask nursery to stop updating their app with the times I pick up/drop off DC as he's been monitoring that and using it against me.
Just wondering if anyone has any experience of this or can tell me I'm worrying about nothing, because my head is all over the place at the moment with the amount of different things I need to consider and sort out. I feel like I'm drowning.