How much salary disparity really matters?

[BluePencilCase]

DH is on 50k. I'm on 78k.

There is enough equity in the family home we could both get 3 bed places (what is needed for the kids) with 5050 equity split. Just mine might be a bit nicer but not much in it!!

Do courts expect you both to have the same house or just a suitable house?

Do they only move away from 5050 if major disparity like one is on 100k and the other on 20k?

Mediation will sort this out for you, but it's fair to say your salaries are similar, and with no mortgage affordability to worry about it's very unlikely the split will vary from 5050.

It’s irrelevant, marriage isn’t a meal ticket for life. Not anymore. As long as he’s not in poverty it’s irrelevant.

And if I got promoted to 90k or so - still 5050 as long as he can afford a 3 bed do you think?

I'm just starting process and there are certain job opportunities I want to pursue but I'm in 2 minds as a) this is super stressful and can i handle a new job but b) am I going to lose more equity?

I put in all the 200k deposit to the fam home 5 years ago from a sale of another flat. I've accepted I'm gonna lose half this money but would be pretty unfair if I lose more than half!!

It is likely to default to c 50:50. But a lot depends on the asset pool. We often reference needs in the advice here as quite basic. That’s because for most people there isn’t enough wealth to go beyond basic needs. However if there is enought wealth to go beyond that then it will get defined differently and quality of life comparisons can start to edge in. A need for any 3 bed property turns into a house rather than a flat or a house with a garden near the school.

And it’s not salary that is compared it is income. Now that might be more or less the same thing for a lot of people but for some it isn’t.

Then we come to age. Older people have limited productive years to pay off mortgages.

I think it also worth remembering that you decided to get married. That is when you decided to combine your wealth and incomes. Making all you assets jointly owned. When you made that decision you decided they weren’t just yours anymore. You don’t lose something you decided to share. I say this because using the legal process to highlight your regret at this decision is an expensive waste of time and money.

One of those contracts where one party can disregard every meaningful element....respect, monogamy, no aggression etc...but the ££ bit stands.

Ha ha...I know @LemonTT you're right. Not gonna spend money on solicitors to listen to me go on about my regret and bitterness!

100k to not live with someone who hates me for the rest of my life. I've seen worse deals

Neither of our incomes or deposit will mean we are living in luxury. Just mine might be a little more expensive and just working out if if courts looking for equality. It will be difference btw a 3 bed terrace and a 3 bed semi kinda thing.

Don’t go for the promotions until the financial settlement is agreed and sealed by the courts.

My understanding is that you both need to be adequately housed, not in the same standards you are now. So if you can both live in a 1 bed flt that would be fine. One of you shouldn't end up significantly different to the other. Also the take home between 50k and 78k is probably not that different once tax etc comes into play (if no pension considerations about £1.2k)

At mediation last year I was on about £44k, ex £80k. We agreed 50/50 custody and I swear his eyes lit up when he heard that means no maintenance. Couple of weeks ago, Ds13 comes home to tell me Dad has a promotion that's means he's getting £1k a month extra AFTER tax. Any hint of potential maintenance? Not an iota. He has the 4 bed fmh, I have a 2 bed flat. So (not) in short, income disparity means nothing.

Salary wise, there isn’t a huge difference. Are pensions similar because once these are taken into account, the split of house equity can deviate from 50/50.

@solounderthesun Sorry - that sounds shit. If he's got an extra £1k a month - that's a big pay increase. Hope he covers more of the clothes/clubs etc.

@Mickey79 he has a much larger pension than me. I barely have one. He works in public sector & is older than me by a few years so has worked in pub sector roles for 25 years at 50k or so.