Doubting the divorce!

[RNA1986]

Hi,

So if anyone is able to read my post from last year this will be a lead on from that.
In a brief nutshell however, I have filed for a divorce from my husband of now 4 years. Mainly due to a problem gambling addiction he suffered with and initially him initiating the separation.
He left over a year ago. It taken me best part of 18 months to come to terms with the loss.
So 3 months ago I filed for the divorce, with his knowledge ofcourse, it was a joint application. He still living out of the home and I've not seen him in nearly a year.
Since filing, our relationship has become so much better. He is trying and making positive changes, he respects my boundaries (I've said we should cut down communication), he is seeking help for his addiction, working hard ect.
We agreed to sell our house we share, found a buyer very quickly but not exchanged yet.
For the last few weeks I've been heartbroken, cannot stop this feeling that I'm making a huge mistake?! He truly is a wonderful man and has been loyal to me for 8 years. Is it normal to feel so sad after filing for divorce? He's expressed many times he would like to give our marriage another chance but I'm partly terrified of this happening again and my extended family simply won't accept it.
I'm just so confused.

I think it’s only natural that there would be more intense feelings of sadness as it becomes more real and ‘official’ to be divorced rather than separated. Personally I’m not sure I could entertain a relationship where there is problem gambling in the mix as it represents such a betrayal of trust in the relationship and I would hate the financial insecurity. Even if you were to entertain the idea of some form of trial reconciliation it may be better that you are divorced and legally separate from him so you can create your own stability and security. Sounds like it would be a challenge regarding your family accepting the relationship though which would obviously come with inevitable strain. Good luck with it all, feeling sad doesn’t mean it’s the ‘wrong decision’.