Feel so lonely

[planAplanB]

Going through early stages of separation. Forced to live with him as no where else to go. He's been horrible tonight. Just having a go at me about everything I'm doing, for example I didn't dismantle the box to go into the recycling bin properly, and I left a window open. I'm laying here in bed alone crying. He's been in spare room for 5 months. I feel so alone. No one cherishes me or wants to hold me close to them. No one loves being with me. I've got friends but it's not the same.

Tell him to f off next time he shouts at you - he's got no right to speak to you let alone like that.
The separation / divorce his idea?

Any kids involved?

Focus on selling house, assets, divorce etc

This sounds silly but are you eating ok?
A good meal helps, go for walks.

This is temporary, this phase will pass, you'll meet a decent person - look after yourself and your body and mind.

No I want to divorce because of how he treats me, and because he slept with someone else. Thanks for replying. I've had a look at photos of my kids which has helped calm me down. We've been together since 19. I'm now 43

He caused the divorce.
Well done for not putting up with his crap.
Are your kids adults?

Once you're away from him and building a new life you'll be so thankful for this negative phase you had to go through to have a better life - you'll meet someone else in time if that's what you want.

Make some time to go out in the evening and have some fun with your friends. Forget him. Try to lead separate lives if you can, even whilst living together. Put your headphones in round the house so you can't hear him. Act like he's not there.

No they are in KS2 so still young. My heart is hurting so much.

I know it's hard if you are hurting but you need to detach from him.

From your title I was hoping to find that you really were feeling lovely, and I could use some inspiration to keep going, three years in to initiating a divorce.

I am sorry you feel lonely, I have had about 10 years of feeling that within a so called marriage and it’s horrible, but your loneliness is temporary, you will soon be free of this nasty man. You had the strength and courage to start the process, and you will stay strong and get to the end, and will come out the other side even stronger.

Keep going, dig deep, you deserve a fresh start and a life that is centred around you and your children.

Living together whilst separating is the hardest thing, I'm sorry OP. It's so shit. Please try not to let him drag you down. You deserve much more than how he's treated you and one day you'll have someone who loves and cherishes and cares about you.

Just remember the way he treats you is all about him, not you. His pathetic little ego needs to crush your self esteem and self worth to feel big and important. You are going to come out of the other side of this and live a happy, safe life. Hang in there.

Thank you for your messages. It's so hard.