Hello, I’m new here and joined because I don’t really have any friends that have experience in this area and desperate for some advice please? 🙏🏻
Bit of background… my husband and I have been together for 21 years (15 of those married) and we have 3 children aged 10, 8 ,8.
There has been no abuse/affairs/gambling etc by either party. Over the years we’ve had numerous issues generally over lack of intimacy, lack of communication, lack of effort (my issues about him). Don’t get me wrong… I’m not perfect by any means, but it always feels like I bring up the issue and say I’m unhappy, think we should split, then he tells me all his problems with me. I feel like if I didn’t say anything then he would bumble along until evermore.
So, we’ve hit another one of these situations and I’ve said I’m ready to separate because it’s about the 5th time we’ve been at this point and despite earlier counselling sessions we’ve still ended up here. That was nearly 4 weeks ago.
During this time, he has starting going to Andy’s man club (suicide prevention group for men) and has said that he’s really struggling with his mental health. One of the men who attended one of the sessions tragically took his own life and this has really affected my husband.
So I’m really after some advice on what to do going forward. I’m really pleased that he’s addressing his mental health and clearly don’t want him to do anything as extreme as the other man. I’m just not sure that it is the right place for him, as the men that run these sessions are not trained therapist’s or counsellors and I’m worried that it’s exposing him to tragedy which is not going to help him.
I’m also really concerned in taking my separation plans further for fear of him attempting self harm or worse.
I don’t know what to do. I’m wondering if any of you ladies have had a similar experience and how you tackled it.
thanks so much in advance xxx