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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Being blackmailed by my ex

13 replies

Saljamber · 27/09/2024 00:14

The ex won’t give me back my two children’s passports. Unless he gets a copy of my passport for his UK citizenship. Wrote to his lawyer as she had put in writing to me that he would return the passports on his return to the UK which was six weeks ago but he has told me unless he gets my passport copy he won’t give me the children’s.
I’ve tried calling the partner who is above his lawyer but again no response. He’s Australian and wants UK citizenship. We split up over two years ago but not formally divorced yet. I’m starting that process now.

OP posts:
Viewfrommyhouse · 27/09/2024 00:19

I'd report the passports as stolen and order 2 new ones.

AgileGreenSeal · 27/09/2024 00:28

Viewfrommyhouse · 27/09/2024 00:19

I'd report the passports as stolen and order 2 new ones.

This.

Also many people in the UK have the right to an Irish passport if a grandparent is/ was an Irish citizen. On the remote off chance this might work in your circumstances you could get these for your children in addition to their UK passports.

itsmeits · 27/09/2024 00:34

Get the divorce moving ASAP OP
Good Luck sounds like you had a lucky escape

As others have said report them lost and get new ones.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 27/09/2024 00:41

What a wanker!

Report the passports as stolen. Get replacements. Keep them. Don’t tell your ex that you have done this unless you are in some way compelled to.

Do the children have Australian passports? If yes, ask your solicitor how to put flags on them so that he cannot travel with the children without your knowledge and permission. If no, find out the process to get Australian passports and find out how to prevent him applying for them now.

Speak to your own solicitor about his blackmail attempt. Consider what might happen if you reported his blackmail to the police and what effect that would have on your children. Would he be deported? I’m not an expert, but probably not. Face criminal charges? I don’t know. Be seriously inconvenienced with a black mark against his citizenship application? Probably

What would he do if he doesn’t get citizenship? Get ILTR instead? Or leave the country?

Consider the likely outcome and what is best for your children before contacting the police.

SeaToSki · 27/09/2024 00:53

get him to put in writing that this is what he wants and your objections back..a text or email would be fine

photocopy your passport and then put a small black line through a key part, like the expiration date..or do something subtle but clear to an official to invalidate the copy..then photocopy the copy..

then give him the invalid photocopy, get the dc passports

then send him a text telling him his copy is invalidated and he doesn't have your permission to submit it. then send a copy of all of this (including his blackmail attempt) to the visa people explaining that you are in the process of divorcing

Changeagain3 · 27/09/2024 01:20

If he doesn't get citizenship does that mean he will have to leave the UK and not seen his children regularly?
Would.it not be better to ensure the children can live on same continent as their dad

SD1978 · 27/09/2024 05:25

@Changeagain3 - I'd assume though that hit would be a fraudulent application as a souse though which Sue would be liable for if they caught him- I understand what you're saying about him potentially having the leave the country and agree, that seems unfair. But Sue can't sponsor an ex husband I don't beleive, he'd need to apply on other grounds.

Original poster
Saljamber · 28/09/2024 22:41

DifficultBloodyWoman · 27/09/2024 00:41

What a wanker!

Report the passports as stolen. Get replacements. Keep them. Don’t tell your ex that you have done this unless you are in some way compelled to.

Do the children have Australian passports? If yes, ask your solicitor how to put flags on them so that he cannot travel with the children without your knowledge and permission. If no, find out the process to get Australian passports and find out how to prevent him applying for them now.

Speak to your own solicitor about his blackmail attempt. Consider what might happen if you reported his blackmail to the police and what effect that would have on your children. Would he be deported? I’m not an expert, but probably not. Face criminal charges? I don’t know. Be seriously inconvenienced with a black mark against his citizenship application? Probably

What would he do if he doesn’t get citizenship? Get ILTR instead? Or leave the country?

Consider the likely outcome and what is best for your children before contacting the police.

He already has ILTR, which I helped him with as we were still together. He hasn't sorted their Australian passports even though he took them to Australia for 4 weeks in the summer. He sent a picture of himself doing drugs to the school parents' Whatsapp group in March 2024 (idiot, as he had denied doing drugs when I shone a light on this 2 years ago and he walked out, hence the split. Grateful now though. (I was distraught at the time. My father died when I was 9 so I wanted the kids to have their dad with them hence I suffered a mentally abusive and rarely abusive relationship for years) The Headmistress picked him up on his drug message in March 2024, Thus I was not going to give him the kids' passports for Australia and he kicked off, I made him do independent drug tests for 6 months but he lied and said he was only able to do 2 months worth. So I think he is punishing me and yes I am applying for divorce.

OP posts:
Original poster
Saljamber · 28/09/2024 22:56

SD1978 · 27/09/2024 05:25

@Changeagain3 - I'd assume though that hit would be a fraudulent application as a souse though which Sue would be liable for if they caught him- I understand what you're saying about him potentially having the leave the country and agree, that seems unfair. But Sue can't sponsor an ex husband I don't beleive, he'd need to apply on other grounds.

We are legally still married, so I am proceeding with the divorce myself now. His parents bought him a 2-bed boat so thus he has no permanent address. I prefer not to lie as well, and after how he has behaved, I'm divorcing him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Saljamber · 28/09/2024 22:57

Changeagain3 · 27/09/2024 01:20

If he doesn't get citizenship does that mean he will have to leave the UK and not seen his children regularly?
Would.it not be better to ensure the children can live on same continent as their dad

He has ILTR so I dnt think so?? Plus 2 British kids.

OP posts:
DifficultBloodyWoman · 28/09/2024 23:33

In that case, I’d report the blackmail attempt to the police. I hope your divorce can go through as quickly as possible.

Original poster
Saljamber · 29/09/2024 02:41

DifficultBloodyWoman · 28/09/2024 23:33

In that case, I’d report the blackmail attempt to the police. I hope your divorce can go through as quickly as possible.

Me too. It takes 6 months Thanks

OP posts:
Justice4Friend · 29/09/2024 03:09

Viewfrommyhouse · 27/09/2024 00:19

I'd report the passports as stolen and order 2 new ones.

Do this.
Do not let this 💩 blackmail you.
It's fraud anyway as you have split up.
His lawyer needs reporting to the regulator.

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