Should I go after his pension?

[Passmetheaero]

Will try and keep this short.

In the middle of divorce. Still living in family home. House in his name only and he has agreed to sell it to me, and he’ll go elsewhere. 2 primary aged children.

Our pension figures have just come through - let’s say for arguments sake (and to make the maths easier) his is worth £600k and mine is worth £300k. I know I’m entitled to a pension share (long marriage). He’s a fair bit older and is pretty close to retirement age.

All I want is for him to sell me the house and leave asap. He’s terrified I’m going to go after his pension.

Is it sensible to put forward an offer to him requesting he sells me the house at a reduced rate asap, and in return I won’t touch his pension? My solicitors are wary of this and seem keen for me to purse his pension as well, but I don’t want to drag this shitshow out any longer.

Would really value your opinions? Thank you.

Yes

@LostMySocks

Not always

Most often it's the case that the other person just had a lower paying job always did and always would have had

I don't believe divorce should leave someone in a better position than if they had never married the other person - and going after pensions does that

Take my ex for example - always worked minimum wage jobs was never Interested in bettering himself or earning more - his pension pot was £10k...I had the career (not facilitated by him in any way - I paid for childcare for our children) and mine was worth £100k. Had I had to split it with him he would have benefited purely by virtue of being married to me. He gave up nothing/sacrificed nothing/ compromised nothing

@amothersinstinct I understand where you’re coming from

often we here cries of, I gave up my career and sacrificed it to enable ex to do his, when actually there was a low paid job with no capacity for high earnings anyway, and rather than be disadvantaged through marriage and children actually they come out much better off with assets they’d never have been able. To accrue individually.

However, in cases where there is a long marriage, where there are children, assets will be considered joint family assets irrespective of who earned them or whose name they are in. Therefore the law states division needs to be fair ( in eyes of the law)

in ops case there is a house and pension/ both need valuing and splitting so both can leave on a similar footing. Op may take higher share of house, lower pension, or some other combination but both need fair valuation and inclusion in the pot for division considerations,

I agreed to not touch my exs pension in return for a smooth buy out by me of the house at the lowest valuation an estate agent came to. Ultimately I think I didn't get quite 50/50 but tbh, I am now free. You can always earn more money, add more to your pension etc etc. Freedom is priceless.

This is what I’m thinking! Glad it worked out for you.

Who took time out to look after the dc? If you, did your h fund your pension when you were on mat leave?

Your looking after the dc facilitated him going to work and being able to pay into his pension - don't forget that.

You need professional advice.

Does he/you have any other assets? Investments, ISAs, etc? They all need to go into the pot.

Entirely reasonable to come to an amicable agreement with him on division of assets. It will be quicker if it's amicable and sorted out between you. Solicitors have no incentive to get things done quickly. But you do need to ensure you are getting a fair deal and hence knowing the value of all the assets is key. But no reason you can't decide for yourselves as a couple how to split everything - you are both reasonable adults. You'll only be unhappy if you listen to other people's opinions of what you are "entitled" to :)