Handhold please- ex husband is gay and my heart is broken

[Hopefulblogger]

My husband left our marriage two years ago because he is gay and the last two years have been the worst of my life. My heart is still so broken. I’m in my late thirties, house sorted, good job, lots of friends and always out and about. Even dated a bit. I guess all I’m looking for is reassurance that it will fade away. Some days it just feels so hard. Can anyone relate?

I can relate in a way - as in my ex husband was keeping a huge secret which when if came out completely blew up and ended our marriage. It’s hard mourning the loss of someone you realise you didn’t really know.

I promise you will get over if fully one day though. Spend time with your friends and family, keep busy and look after yourself x

Took me 3 years to get over OP, give yourself a bit more time. Cry and mourn as much as you need to, one day you'll wake up and just be over it. Oh and get angry, how dare he use you as a fucking beard.

Thank you both. 2 years feels like a long time to be sad but it’s nice to know it took others same if not longer and came through it. I suppose because I didn’t anticipate it, it was a huge shift. It’s not like we grew apart. I think that prolongs the pain too x

I'm 8 years or so after finding out that my now ex is gay. I'm less sad, a lot less sad, but getting on with things and continuing to rebuild by own life (I'm 53). But I am still angry from time to time, both with him but also - perhaps unreasonably - with myself. Although I didn't know he was gay I did accept many years of a sexless marriage which operated more like a business partnership, and maybe I should have known that I was being gaslighted every time I challenged him. But things are better and I feel better about me. Just try and look forward, you're so young and have the best of times ahead x