Can H block school change?

[GruandDrew]

I've been planning to leave H for the last year. He knows, kind of. He's unhappy too but he blames me for a lot of it.

We have two young DC - one at nursery, one in primary school. The older one has special needs. He is in mainstream but there is a chance he may need to go to a specialist school. There is a primary school about 25 mins away from us which is mainstream but large % of kids with EHCPs due to lots of provision and expertise.

Me and H have both talked about him going there. I would like to move there too - it's a much nicer small town than where we are now and I hvae friends there.

My worry is H can be v petty. He admits that himself - and i've seen a quite revengful/nasty side of him in the last year.

I have taken a week off work in October to tell him I want to split.

Could he refuse to let me move DS to a more suitable school? Even if only 20/25 mins away. We will probably need to sell the family home so I will move anyway. But can H block moving school? Even if he agrees now to it in theory as his school think DS may struggle to cope more and more as school becomes more structured.

I really wouldn't put it past him to block things if he could. But could he? He would blocking just to control and make things difficult for me.

DS has a diagonsis of learning disability, ASD, delay etc - given by NHS consultant - so I have the evidence that he needs extra support

I read about Laurence Fox blocking Billie Piper giving his kids medication for ADHD and i know that just one example but having a kids with SEN and a bitter ex husband sounds like a disaster!

Yes. Schooling is one of the things all with parental responsibility must agree.

if had his primary school saying the setting was not suitable for DS, plus diagonsis etc, could I take XH to court if he blocked?

If you can't agree it will have to be resolved in court.

I have just completed an in year transfer form for secondary school. On the form it said:

Give the name of any other person with parental responsibility

and

Are they in agreement with this application?

It was at the back of my mind when I put “yes” that my ex might not agree but in my case it is definitely in the child’s best interests.

Good luck with everything. If you are moving would it be the child’s catchment school so that would difficult to disagree with? I would press on with the divorce, get your ducks in a row, see a solicitor to find out what you are entitled to etc.

Yes he could block it but if he does you could go to court about it. But that's money and time wasted.

If you really feel he will hurt his own child by blocking suitable education then be a sneaky petty person back. Start a discussion now about your child's future education needs and secretly record his agreement that this school is the best for the child. It won't help legally but it might shame him enough.

i was thinking maybe i should make the move happen next year to the new town/new school - get the kids settled in new schools - then leave H. but that means living with an absolute shithead for another 12 - 18 months at least.

Well the other alternative is to start making out everything is his idea and you are meekly agreeing. I explained to be stbx that I could see how unhappy he was, that it wasn't fair on us both and maybe we should split so he could be happier and spend his money on hobbies instead of a broken down house (that he hates spending money on). You could ask H's advice on this school, does he really think DC will benefit, how does he think we can make that happen and should be move house etc blah blah blah. Smile sweetly and swallow that pride, it's for the child's benefit and future, and ultimately yours. I hate deceiving, hate hate hate it but the alternative is living in hell, like you.