New territory, with the manchild having left around 4 weeks ago. He has his own place and the kids are spending 50% of the time with each of us. However, since he left has has always had someone else, a friend, at the house, often staying over, and it has upset the kids. I think of the nights they've stayed at his there has only been 1 night when it was just the three of them. I am trying to stay out of it and put on a happy, brave face for the kids, but they are telling me they don't want to go so I have tried to facilitate a conversation between them and encouraged the kids to tell them how they feel. They did exactly that and told him they don't want him to have friends there when they're there. It's not home to them but he seems to think they will just rock up and get on with it, not being sensitive to the change in routine or the fact that it is a totally new environment to them. These friends of his are new to them too: relatively new to him. He's taken up smoking again... basically, they are complaining to me but I'm trying to be impartial because I don't really know what else today.
Today he came meet DD from the school bus and announced that Friend X was still there. DS, who was with me all day as off sick was upset and said we told you we don't want you have friends staying there when we come to yours. Dad said that things got messed up today so he couldn't take his friend back; he's basically a taxi service for this guy, making a 1.5 hr round trip to collect him or take him back home! Long story short, DS cried and refused to go. I told Dad that I'm pissed and don't want to be in a position where the kids are telling me they don't want to go to his and that he's screwing up. DD went but it was to keep the peace and "make things easier" rather than because she want to. Nightmare.
Obviously this is all new to all of us. I feel pretty helpless because I want it to work, for their sakes - what I want is for them to skip off to dad's and be happy there - and for mine, because I work full time and have spent the last 25 years picking up after him and while of course I'm not going to turn my kids away when he's basically broken an agreement he made with them, I don't know how to handle this at all. He just kinda shrugged and said, "yeah, today got messed up so Friend X is here until tomorrow, sorry." Although, I'm not sure he actually said sorry, which is quite normal for him.