Agreed to separate.

Meadowfinch · 11/09/2024 12:59

Surely you can organise a Sunday lunch before then?

Either that or call each of them by phone and then ask them to wait an hour while you tell them all.

Or you could go and see them. Do you and H want to tell them together?

Omgblueskys · 11/09/2024 13:21

Blossomfifty · 11/09/2024 12:37

Hello. I have been married for 20 years but my husband and I have just agreed to separate. It was initially a huge weight off my shoulders once we made the decision but now I am in a permanent state of anxiety worrying about the future. We are trying to be amicable so I hope that continues. We have just dropped our eldest off at university so no longer have an opportunity to tell our 3 children all together. This means we can’t tell many friends as we don’t want the news accidentally reaching our kids before we tell them. This is very stressful and we have no idea how/when we can break the news! My husband is planning on staying in the family home until the new year but I’m not sure we can keep quiet until DD comes home at Christmas. Any advice? 🤯

Hi, sorry that your decision to separate, but there's never a good time to tell the children, have you both decided to tell them together?,
Wonder if you could give child in uni heads up then facetime when all other family members are available, maybe just letting him know before hand there's a family conversation that's taking place all together as big changes are happening,

I know when I told my adult daughter that we were separating, I was told to have that conversation alone with her, well children were aware of our relationship and how we had grown apart, nothing new in thst, anyway my daughter and I sat and cried she got up to make a cuppa turned and sed ' you do know dad carnt boil an egg, he'll starve to death ' obviously he hasn't, but that part of the conversation always stays with me, 14 years later, children always pickup on things at home so might already have an inkerling, my only advice would be is to be true full, know what you want to say, leave the conversation open as they may need to talk later on or ask questions, good luck op, hopefully if xh is with you this would be better for the children, you can both agree on things,

My grandson all of 3 years old would say things to me like' nanny Your dress is still in the wardrobe, or the spare room is very messy nanny, that was my bedroom before leaving the family home,

Original poster

Blossomfifty · 11/09/2024 16:06

Meadowfinch · 11/09/2024 12:59

Surely you can organise a Sunday lunch before then?

Either that or call each of them by phone and then ask them to wait an hour while you tell them all.

Or you could go and see them. Do you and H want to tell them together?

Thanks. Her uni is 5 hours drive away! Maybe we can go and visit her for the weekend and pass on the devastating news 😬 Yes we want both of us to be there when we tell them to show we are still amicable

OP posts:

Original poster

Blossomfifty · 11/09/2024 16:11

Omgblueskys · 11/09/2024 13:21

Hi, sorry that your decision to separate, but there's never a good time to tell the children, have you both decided to tell them together?,
Wonder if you could give child in uni heads up then facetime when all other family members are available, maybe just letting him know before hand there's a family conversation that's taking place all together as big changes are happening,

I know when I told my adult daughter that we were separating, I was told to have that conversation alone with her, well children were aware of our relationship and how we had grown apart, nothing new in thst, anyway my daughter and I sat and cried she got up to make a cuppa turned and sed ' you do know dad carnt boil an egg, he'll starve to death ' obviously he hasn't, but that part of the conversation always stays with me, 14 years later, children always pickup on things at home so might already have an inkerling, my only advice would be is to be true full, know what you want to say, leave the conversation open as they may need to talk later on or ask questions, good luck op, hopefully if xh is with you this would be better for the children, you can both agree on things,

My grandson all of 3 years old would say things to me like' nanny Your dress is still in the wardrobe, or the spare room is very messy nanny, that was my bedroom before leaving the family home,

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Thanks. Yes that is an option, although I would feel better doing it face to face. I’m sure they must have an inkling that things aren’t great between us. We have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past year although none of the kids have ever mentioned it!!

OP posts: