Positive stories please

[Jaz1987]

Hi everyone long time lurker first post🙂
please can everyone share their positive stories of lovely happiness post divorce, I’ve enjoyed reading some of the older threads…very happy to be getting divorced after 17years with ex husband and finding out he had a child with another woman 🤬 who is the same age as our youngest (5yrs) and sick to the back teeth of him sucking the life out of me…but still I am feeling very flat/crap 😞 barely dragging myself through work/kids/life juggle. I was having a bit of a casual fling with a seemingly lovely guy who has recently ghosted me 👻👻 whole new concept, for no apparent reason 🤷‍♀️ knocking my already shot l self confidence, finances are tight up-to eye balls in debt, big bloody house we just built is not selling so stuck living with ExH which is beyond crap. Just need a bit of a kick up the arse…please

I don't have an actual positive story. Like you, I'm hoping for one, but having doubts and worries.

Ignore ghost bloke, it was an experience and now you can move on. You don't need anyone else for your self esteem or happiness (repeat until it sounds believable). Give yourself time and be kind, you are going through a major event.

Can you take some time off work to give yourself a break?

This is just a step on the way, it will get better.

Ummmm I separated from my husband of 7 years (been together 12/13) and thought that my love life was over- he’d cheated on me and left me with two young kids. I figured I’d never trust again and would be single til my children grew up. I was actually okay with it and had a plan to foster for a few years and then maybe seek another man once into my 40s with adult kids.

Then I went to a friends wedding and met the nicest man ever. A real gentleman in every sense of the world. And despite all the odds stacked against us we got together, married and are still madly in love 17 years (and two “babies” on).

@fourelementary that's a lovely happy ending

@Questionsandheartache @fourelementary thanks for the replies and what a lovely story 🥰 I’m actually a year in but feeling very stuck, think the adrenaline has worn off plus a healthy dose of rejection from ghost bloke got me reeling…unfortunately don’t have very good sick pay so time off isn’t an option! ExH so manipulative and just can’t wait to be properly away from him. What do you guys do when the kids are in bed? That’s what I’m finding the hardest xx

This thread is full of joy! I'm holding on to the vision of being able to write my own post... https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/divorce_separation/5114650-things-ive-noticed-since-the-divorce?page=1

My ExH is married to OW & she gets the crap I used to. In a bizarre way I feel lucky as I’d have never left & he would never have left without someone to go to. I still am
impacted by his selfishness & moods but to a much lessor extent.

I get time with the DC on my own so I can focus on them without having to think of anyone else and parent in the way I want to.

I also get time without DC (that I barely got pre separation) & I make the most of this with friends and a relationship.

I’ve had one LTR since & in another now. This guy is making me happy. I do have trust issues & logistically it’s tricky but I’m in no rush & just enjoying it for what it is. I am enjoying a relationship that doesn’t have the pressures of an early 20s relationship where there’s life goals to be considered. I definitely don’t want anymore DC & I’m on the fence re: moving in/getting married in the future (with anyone).

I hope you can move on soon and enjoy the benefits of separation.