His demands with house sale due to separation

[mollymoo751]

Hi everyone,
Do you have any advice or knowledge on rights when selling a house due to a breakup?
Context: unmarried, 2 children, joint mortgage, I want to just split 50/50.
Partner is saying he will only agree to sell the house if I agree to take the £8k early repayment fee on the mortgage. I’ll have main custody of children and full custody of pets and £8k would be a huge chunk of my equity, maybe preventing me getting a new house.
He also refuses to move out (which I know is the advice). He could easily move in with his parents who have space. I don’t have the same option with my parents. Plus I would have the children and pets.
I feel so trapped like I have no way out. Almost like he wants to keep it this way as I do EVERYTHING and he gets to live a life doing whatever the hell he wants whilst his kids are cared for, house cleaned, washing done, meals cooked etc etc. He got out of bed at 3:30pm today for context.
Every time I bring up the conversation of separating he either laughs at me or gets defensive/aggressive. The fact it won’t be amicable for the children terrifies me! I worry how nasty it could get 😢

You need to stop facilitating his life any more than you have to.
Why do you have less money? You are paying for the children I guess. Keep records. Tell him what he owes.
You will get out one day. Hang in there.

Firstly if you have the kids to house your entitled to more than 50%

Please see a solicitor, best money you will spend

If you're north Surrey way I can highly recommend someone

@ForgettingMeNot they aren't married so she is only legally entitled to how the ownership is split.

But he doesn't make you feel bad - you make yourself feel bad.

He can't make you cook and clean for him. It's hard to stop being a mug but you need to accept that you're in control and not him.

First step stop paying money to him, all bills now need to be paid directly. He pays his half you pay yours. Do not pay him a penny. It maybe the mortgage payments are lower than he's telling you and you are paying more than him. Ask for all morthage payment documents and all utilities etc. (Tell him you need them for an appointment at your bank with a financial advisor etc. If you need to explain why)

Do the maths.

Contact womens aid too as they can help with exit strategies and advice on abusive partners that won't move out.

If he gets even a little nasty phone the police and keep doing this until he gets the point. Then if you need to get a restraining order. So he will have to leave.

Women really should be financially punished for splitting up. Especially when the poor man relies on her for cooking, cleaning, looking after the children. Even though they both work.

Sarcasm BTW.

@ForgettingMeNot thsts not correct, even if married there’s no automatic right, and op is not married. So she’s legally entitled to the % based on how they own the house - in this case tenants in common with equal shares. That’s it. Plus cms if applicable

Can you not buy him out the house?

you need legal advice asap

No sadly I couldn’t afford the house by myself, neither can he so it needs to be sold. It’s the logistics of getting to that point, without the children being negatively impacted, that’s the struggle!

Thanks everyone for your advice x