How to communicate with an unreasonable ex

[Newdaynewdrama]

I've name changed incase this is recognised.

My ex and I share 2 children. He is the most unreasonable person to communicate with - we can get along fine at times then if it doesn't go his way/I challenge him on something then he turns nasty. We've recently had a big blow up and there are several issues I want to discuss with him but trying to sit down with him one to one fills me with anxiety, he's quite an intimidating person and so I'm wondering how we can do this?

What are the issues?

You do it by email. You have a record of everything he says, and it gives you time to think about your response.

Also, never try to explain or justify your emails. Just say what you need to say, and repeat as necessary.

I've tried to do it via email before but he just refuses to reply to them or gets nasty on them like he does with messages.

There are lots of APPs now for comparents to to use, but ultimately if he doesn’t want to discuss things with you there’s not a great deal you can do.
For things like pick up arrangements or holiday dates, just inform him rather than expecting a discussion - “Jnr New is going to be on a school residential from Friday 1st to Monday 4th so won’t be coming to yours that weekend” type of thing.

I think it depends on the issue. Some I’d say email or WhatsApp. Others I’d say you need to bite the bullet and sit down together however uncomfortable that is.

and you’ll both need to realise you need to compliant one party can’t dictate

What is your co parenting situation, do you have a court order or are things agreed between you.

Things can be established so you have minimal interaction and minimal joint decision making.

Having been through this I'd say you absolutely have to communicate via email so there is a record, keep any emotion out of it and stick to the facts. If he won't respond then you need mediation.
Good luck - I know how difficult this situation is.