ok, it’s a bombshell . He has been thinking of this for a while to come out and say it, so is a long way ahead of where you are in terms of emotional processing
look at grief pathway on line- you may find that helpful to understand very natural emotions you are and will go through over the next few months
I would also recommend as soon as you are able, BEFORE you see a solicitor, to go to link at top of board to ADVICE NOW and download all the relevent guides. Read them, reread them. Understand the process. Understand about “fair settlement”
agree to nothing he suggests or demands until you’ve read these guides and you have both completed your legal financial disclosures. You can’t agree to asset splits until you’ve both agreed all the assets you have and their values. This is a way of ensuring you don’t get into arguments about stuff form a perspective of being afraid or fearful.
it is the unknown thst is the cause of anxiety and fear . Start to inform yourself of the process, likely outcomes etc and you’ll start replacing fear with being able to understand likely outcomes, and then you can take control of what you can control.
i found I needed all this information to start to visualise what my new “divorced” life would be like. Where I would live, what my income would be, what my lifestyle would be, and all the myriad of anxieties that plagued me.
right now you are overwhelmed and shocked. Take time. If needed go back to your GP and discuss counselling to get you through the stress of this. Don’t be pressured by him “ going to see solicitor” or even him raising the petiton on line. You have time to take a bit of time to start to process this and get to point where you can approach it like a job to do and get done as quickly and cheaply as possible.
if he wants out, it is better to accept and move forwards . There is now a longish “cooling off period” built into process after the initial petiton has been successful. If he and you agree to give it another go, that’s the time to pause and reconsider. But right now it is best to gradually move to acceptance that marriage will end.
you will get through it. I was married for 30 years then divorced. I moved areas, had to learn to make new friends and I retired. I needed help form psychotherapy, but am now in a good place, largely more content and peaceful .
ADVICE NOW guides massively helped me on this. Read them. .