Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

How to

5 replies

brownbeauty80 · 01/09/2024 09:58

Do I find a solicitor or find a company to start divorce ?
What will be cheaper and faster ?
Any recommendations?

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 01/09/2024 10:06

Google
local Facebook recommendations
visit a couple and see who you get a good feeling from

cheapest is do it yourself and start process yourself. not always possible if you have complicated assets or you simply won’t negotiate and compromise on financial split between you but that the cheapest, and quickest route

brownbeauty80 · 01/09/2024 19:49

Thank for the reply @millymollymoomoo
I think we will have complicated assets as we have a business in joint names
I would rather go for speed then having the assets taken into account
I just want to be free asap from him in all aspects
DV is also an issue so the less I aggravate the situation the better
I don't have fb n I don't want to b seen going into the local solicitor as I am well known in the area and ned to keep this under wraps as much as possible
I saw a site on the net
Quickie divorce
Should I give them a call to see if they could deal with it without actually having to meet me
Is that even possible?

OP posts:
Dartwarbler · 01/09/2024 20:13

Right above your post, in the header, is a link to ADVICE NOW.

Go to link. Download all the relevent guides on diy divorce. You can use even if not totally diy.

READ THEM. then read them agian. Pass them to your stbex and get him to read them

These guides tell you exactly what you don’t need solicitor for, what you do and where you might.
they explain “fair settlement “ - despite what folks say here it does not start with 50:50. It starts with fair settllent criteria. You need to understand how these apply to you and stbex situation.
they explain the legal financial disclosure forms and how to complete yourselves. Obviously if you have business thst may be more complex but need not be if you trust each other, and can work cooperatively

bear in mind a solicitor will charge ~ £200+ vat/hour for every second there picking your file up, listening to your concerns, or trying to get hold of the other solicitor. That’s unproductive work, even before they charge you for their productive work. Do NOT see a solicitor until you’ve read these guides, answered your own questions for nearly free rather than get a solicitor to explain it and charge you for privaledge- and they won’t explain all of it otherwise it’ll mean less chargeable work for them. Only instruct solicitor when you KNOW EXACTLY which specific tasks you want them to do.

your “free” 30 mins with a solicit will tell you little of he process and is mainly them understanding complexity of your case and then positioning a sales pitch frankly. Better to use your free 30 mins armed with knowledge and you interviewing them when your ready

there are people on this board racking up charges of £30k and taking years to divorce. It does NOT have to be like that. I divorced in 2021, took 4 months (ok can’t do thst now as all divorces take min of 26 weeks) and it cost us in total £1500. We did that by parking anger, agreeing we didn’t want to fritter more money away by using solicitors where we didn’t have to, and by both reading these guides and using them to guide us through process. ok, we didn’t have dependant kids anymore and there was no business. But a lot of it really isn’t that complicated.

the government web site on divorce is also extremely good and made to be very clear - go on line and download forms like the divorce petition, form E and D81 and start to read through what information you’ll need to gather and plot out the processes.

brownbeauty80 · 01/09/2024 20:19

@Dartwarbler
Thank you so much
I will do that tomorrow when he is at work so I can do it in peace
He is still trying to be nice to make me change my mind
That ship sailed away a while ago

OP posts:
Dartwarbler · 01/09/2024 20:20

Oh,just seen DV. I divorced for unreasonable behaviour due to my ex’s abusive behaviour. (Pre law change)

he did see sense thst it would cost a fortune if we used solicitors or he tried to stall stuff like financial disclosure. The ADVICE NOW guide massively helped with that as he could read for himself what his rights were and what process was and what he needed to do. It wasn’t coming direct form me .

ok, he was a tight bugger, and not wanting to use solicitors meant we could get though it quickly

butcat end of day I had to park a lot of anger, distress and resentment till after the divorce. I spent a lot of time managing his potential agression by thinking through things careful before I pitched anything to him as process went through. A lot of walking on egg shells.
I did a lot of healing after we’d done and I moved into my new house, including some excellent EMDR for cPTSD.

read up on grief pathway- I found that extremely helpful to get my head around the odd emotions I felt and he was expressing as we went though. Sounds an odd one, but I think a lot of folks don’t realise they will grieve even where it wasn’t a good relationship.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page