How do your teens split time between 2 homes?

[WindUpBird]

2 homes will be 5 mins walk from each other. 2 teens, but one moving to uni imminently, so realistically just 1 teen most of the time.

Both parents would like 50/50 - so what do you find works best - one week on/off or a different set-up?

Will discuss with DCs but don’t want them to have to choose the set-up as I think that’s stressful for them?? Easier for us to say these are the dates you’ll
be in this house etc - with total flexibility within that if they need to see either parent for anything…

Any advice very welcome, thank you

Both teens with houses so close, I wouldn’t even expect there to be a schedule. Me and my siblings grew up like that, I was the youngest at age 8. We all generally stayed at our mums more, but if we wanted to stay at dads it would just be ‘I’m at dads tonight so don’t do me any tea’.

No schedule. They generally just stayed at one then went to ex as and when they felt like it, sometimes for an evening sometimes staying over etc

would not have dreamt to put a schedule in place

With one at uni presumably adult or almost adult age, I’d find it very bizarre to present them with a contact schedule for which parent they have to spend the night with. Unless one parents working nights or something and the younger teen can’t be left in an empty house alone, I don’t see any reason why a child over 12 needs a contact schedule for a parent who lives down the road

Thanks all, yes, there are some medical issues which means we need to ensure one parent is fairly nearby even if not actually in the house.

Also, I guess I didn’t want to put the onus on the dc to decide how long to stay at each house - I think they’d worry about upsetting one of us if they spent huge amounts more time with one than the other. That’s why I thought a relaxed ‘schedule’ would be easier for them - they don’t have to continually choose between us.

You’ll find they most likely want one home /base and will just ‘visit’ the other

Teens snd young adults won’t typically want to really spend any time with either parent, preferring to be out with friends, work, sports etc and just come and go especially if older teens rather than 13

This is why I’m thinking it’s LESS pressure to have a schedule. It’s more unfair on dc thinking they have to stay in one house to adhere to the schedule, rather than staying where they’re comfortable. My partners were the traditional 50’s ones where mum provided most of the care, but dad was lax on rules. We actually chose mum most of the time just due to the comfort of being looked after, cooked for and having treats etc in. Dad was fun but more ‘fend for ourselves’ at his house. If the dc feel they’re being a bit unfair in how they share their time then they should be free to change their mind themselves imo, not with one parent trying to schedule them for their own fairness

I have two teens (one almost 18, the other almost 15) their dad lives further away so in the past it has always been very structured but we’ve also always been very much of the opinion that as they get older it’s no longer “mum’s time” or “dad’s time” it’s their time and as long as they are considerate of both of us then we’ll make arrangements as and when.

My point is late teens and early adults don’t need a schedule and are able to come and go as they deem fit.

Id agree with this. They dort need babysitting so let them come and go as they please