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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Emotional abuse?

2 replies

Mummy1123 · 28/08/2024 16:03

Hi mums🙋🏻‍♀️ // trigger warning emotional abuse!

After some advice please 🙏🏼
I’m going to be leaving my partner soon, but need to work out logistics etc and wondered if anyone had been through the same?

It’s a very toxic relationship and he is very controlling, and just vile basically 🥲

Our son is 18months old, we have two houses together (mortgaged) we rent one out and live in the other. I wouldn’t be able to live in our current house alone as it’s way too much per month for me. I only work 1 day a week and sometimes overtime when my sons in nursery also 1 day a week. I could work more but It’s a struggle as no nurseries have any space by us! I’m hoping to exchange my financed car to something cheaper, I only got a more expensive one as he wanted more space for himself 🥲 my wages go on my bills only and he pays for the house!

My plan is to sell the house but he would have to live there or at least pay the bills until we sold it! But then I don’t have a clue! I honestly feel so trapped and stuck, he didn’t want me going back to work and various other things! We also can’t sell our other house until may as we have a tenant in there!

Just need some advice on how this would all work? I’m so stressed about it all!
Thank you🤍 for context I’m based in the UK!

OP posts:
Baffers100 · 28/08/2024 16:50

Sorry to hear that you are struggling. If both houses are in both of your names, you both need to agree to sell the house unless you end up going to court and you get a court order to stay in a property.

As you are on a limited income, it will likely be considered you will need more equity from the house if it is sold, as you have a lower mortgage capacity.

I'd start the divorce process- it take a while. I am nearly two years in and still living in the spare room so don't delay.
I'd also suggest speaking to solicitors. Most give a free 30 minute consultation, this will help you feel better about what your options are.
Do NOT leave the home. Staying, I know, feels impossible, but your position legally is better if you stay,

Original poster
Mummy1123 · 28/08/2024 18:29

Baffers100 · 28/08/2024 16:50

Sorry to hear that you are struggling. If both houses are in both of your names, you both need to agree to sell the house unless you end up going to court and you get a court order to stay in a property.

As you are on a limited income, it will likely be considered you will need more equity from the house if it is sold, as you have a lower mortgage capacity.

I'd start the divorce process- it take a while. I am nearly two years in and still living in the spare room so don't delay.
I'd also suggest speaking to solicitors. Most give a free 30 minute consultation, this will help you feel better about what your options are.
Do NOT leave the home. Staying, I know, feels impossible, but your position legally is better if you stay,

Thank you for your reply! We are married luckily! We’ve both spoken before regarding the houses etc and would agree to sell if anything were to happen between us. I understand I’d have to move elsewhere and hopefully id be able to get my son into nursery more full time so I can work more! It’s just feeling like I’m very trapped and stuck at the moment!

OP posts:
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