What’s worse?

LC1915 · 2024-08-27T11:00:52+00:00

Separation (and divorce) with shared custody or staying in the same house and living separate lives for the sake of the kids (and finances).

yestoanother50 · 27/08/2024 15:37

We are two weeks in so it's early days but so far...

my house is cleaner and calmer.
I can feel how anxious I've been and how normal it had become with the two of us here
my kids are 50:50 at his/mine (we discussed how this would work with them) and are fine with the arrangement. The only caveat is that they say he's more stressed than before but in contrast I am calmer.

I don't like that they are struggling a bit at his but to them I'm saying, it's new, daddy has his way and it's different to mine, I'll see you in whatever day, and I am so much happier it means I can be properly here for them. Of course it's still the school hols so a busy routine hasn't kicked in yet and the financials are still being sorted out but as far as my emotional wellbeing goes, I have a long way to go but feel like I can breathe and relax again, which has to be better for my kids in the long run. Plus more random clothes piles around the house. Ugh.

How old are your kids OP?

yestoanother50 · 27/08/2024 15:38

*no more random clothes piles.

Original poster

LC1915 · 27/08/2024 19:27

yestoanother50 · 27/08/2024 15:37

We are two weeks in so it's early days but so far...

my house is cleaner and calmer.
I can feel how anxious I've been and how normal it had become with the two of us here
my kids are 50:50 at his/mine (we discussed how this would work with them) and are fine with the arrangement. The only caveat is that they say he's more stressed than before but in contrast I am calmer.

I don't like that they are struggling a bit at his but to them I'm saying, it's new, daddy has his way and it's different to mine, I'll see you in whatever day, and I am so much happier it means I can be properly here for them. Of course it's still the school hols so a busy routine hasn't kicked in yet and the financials are still being sorted out but as far as my emotional wellbeing goes, I have a long way to go but feel like I can breathe and relax again, which has to be better for my kids in the long run. Plus more random clothes piles around the house. Ugh.

How old are your kids OP?

They’re 9 and 5. Youngest is developmentally disabled and very attached to me. I worry about how they would react and staying “together” seems like the safest option for him. I don’t doubt that I’d feel huge relief on my own I just don’t know how my kids would benefit.

OP posts:

Allnewtometoo · 27/08/2024 19:30

Attempting to live in the sane house would be really difficult I think..