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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Where do I stand re: DIY?

8 replies

tomatobasilandmozzarella · 26/08/2024 17:36

My husband and I are in our 50s. We've been together for approx 25 years. Last year we decided to separate. I moved into the spare room. We've agreed to sell the house and split the money 50/50. However, he is one of those people who endlessly starts DIY projects but does not finish them. Therefore, the house is not ready to put on the market. Instead of simply finishing all the stupid little things he's started and calling it quits, he's currently driving me mad by starting even more jobs. He says the house will be worth more when he's done but at this rate he's never going to be done. I don't think he's stalling on purpose because he doesn't want us to separate. He's just got a total ADHD brain when it comes to jobs and lists. Where do I stand legally? How do I stop him making my home worth less with all these bloody unfinished jobs. I just want to get out, get my own place and start living again. Being here in this half finished house with him is claustrophobic and to be honest this side of his personality is one of the reasons I can't be with him anymore. I feel like I'm a prisoner who is being coerced into living with him.

OP posts:
Whatatodo79 · 26/08/2024 17:40

get the house valued as is and just start proceedings. If the DIY stuff seems to be a deal breaker in the eyes of the estate agenst arrangw for DIY person to come and complete them and take the cost of that out of the house sale cash? He just needs to stop pfaffing around and you can show him that by just getting on

Daisys24 · 26/08/2024 17:40

There’s nothing you can do legally as it’s his house too. However if I was you I’d get a handyman in to do obvious jobs that need remedying and then get it on the market asap.

tomatobasilandmozzarella · 26/08/2024 17:43

Forgot to say - I am really short of money and cannot afford a handyman. If I could, I would absolutely get someone in. He said the other day - you can't decide what order I do the jobs in because I'm doing them. If you want certain things done then you have to pay someone. (Knowing I can't!)

OP posts:
InandOutlander · 26/08/2024 17:56

What kinds of things are they?

Any chance of you learning enough to help and finish them?

Whatatodo79 · 26/08/2024 18:10

Or don't bother and get the estate agents round to value. Have you got a solicitor to manage the divorce

tomatobasilandmozzarella · 26/08/2024 21:16

Whatatodo79 · 26/08/2024 18:10

Or don't bother and get the estate agents round to value. Have you got a solicitor to manage the divorce

We haven't really got as far as a divorce. I don't care about that. i just want out of the house.

OP posts:
tomatobasilandmozzarella · 26/08/2024 21:19

InandOutlander · 26/08/2024 17:56

What kinds of things are they?

Any chance of you learning enough to help and finish them?

Examples are - pulling up the bathroom floor 5 months ago, and slowly replacing the tiles - still not finished. Swapping the downstairs sink for the upstairs sink - so we currently have two sinks in one bathroom and none in the other. Suddenly deciding to ripe out a fitted cupboard in the hall, but then downing tools and going for a nap. Pulling up the carpet in his room (which was our room) and then not having any plan regarding what to replace it with, so now it's just a horrible floor. It's all jobs that i don't know how to finish myself.

OP posts:
Headingtowardsdivorce · 29/08/2024 07:57

I feel your pain. I have one of those.

I think the only thing you can do is get it valued as it is as soon as possible, before he starts anymore jobs.

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