Will I always have regrets?

[Bakingmomma101]

I posted yesterday about my current situation, but I think it’s helped me see that what I’ve been through isn’t acceptable and I’m going to struggle to get over it / worth more.
however I’m really struggling to understand / get my head around it all… as I thought that if I was ever to get a divorce (which I NEVER saw on the cards for us) that I would hate the person. Unfortunately I still love him very much despite all the cheating and lying. He wants to make it to work and is making all the right steps now … but only now I’ve found everything out :/ it would’ve carried on I think had I not found out.

has anyone ever got a divorce when they still love their husband? I think surely I’d always have some love for him since we have 2 children together.

it would hurt seeing him with someone else, but maybe would hurt me more to live the rest of my life with trust issues and not feeling good enough x

pls be kind this is an awful time for me x

Not read your last post. You will get over the hurt in time and you will love yourself more than him too.
Move on, if you go back, there will be a whole new dynamic at play: trust issues, phone checking, trust with females you know etc. All of which makes you dependent on what information he feeds you.

Get out.

I felt like you a year ago, despite the cheating and all the controlling behaviour I still loved him 🤷🏼‍♀️ two years this August, I've turned a corner and have accepted that the way I was treated was really quite shitty and someone that could do that really wasn't worth my time. I no longer feel lonely or long for the family life I thought I had (I didn't - he worked away most of the time and I did it all alone anyway). In all honesty you need to give it time, learn to accept it and focus more on yourself. If you try to reconcile all you'll be doing is giving him the opportunity to hurt you all over again. Please don't do that to yourself, you are worth so much more!

@rockingbird are you me? I could have written every word of that.

@Bakingmomma101 I know what you mean, it would have been so much easier if I’d hated him but I didn’t. I loved him more than I loved myself, despite his abuse of me.

2 years on from discovering his 4 year affair and I have learned to love my single life. I now feel mostly indifference towards him.

You’ll get there but it takes time. I imagine there are lots of people who divorce and still love the person (probably more than hate each other) but have to realise it won’t work.

I still love my ex, I accept that. I know he is not good for me, I accept that. I am burnt out and can’t even think of being with anyone else. I accept that, but looking forward to having a better understanding and relationship with myself because of years of self neglect. I am more focused on myself, who I want to be and on my healing. There’s simply no room for my ex anymore.