Child Maintenance

[Onelongholiday]

Separated recently- 4 children 7,10,12 and 14 - I do work 24 hrs per week and so currently claim universal credit as on just above minimum wage - not yet had revised amount of universal credit as only recently changed claim from joint to single when he left.

Any advice on child maintenance? He does work and so won’t be eligible for universal credit himself - last year his earnings about £24000 and probably same or more this year.

He has offered £200 a month to children and has said this month he will pay an extra £100 for school shoes. As yet not seen anything from him but he will get paid this month on 28th.

I don’t think £200 a month is anything like enough as I’m left paying for house and mortgage and all bills - the government calculator for child support is more.

Am I best to try to negotiate more with him now as a voluntary agreement - I thought £300 per month as he will have to travel 10 miles(so 40 miles trip total) to pick up/return? However I doubt he’ll agree to £300 given he’s offered £200 so clearly thinks that’s enough. Or leave it as £200 and wait 2-3 months and see if he does pay then try to renegotiate to £300 and if not just go to CMS ? Just don’t want to make things more difficult but equally am not sure he will reliably and regularly pay anything at all. He has always just spent all his money on himself (part of reason why we are divorcing as he kept all his money for himself just paid half of bills etc but gave nothing for children’s expenses, clothes, guides subs etc - all down to me).

He is at his mother’s now so none of them can stay over at the moment as no room. He says he will look for a 2 bed flat but even that would mean only one child at a time can stay 1-2 nights (taking it in turns) every 4-6 weeks as he often works weekends. So am not sure what to put on the gov calculator for CMS - probably 0 nights for now?

Unsure also about mortgage - I should be ok with it on my own, with work earnings plus universal credit - but just wondering if better to wait until the mortgage fix expires before doing anything about looking to borrow myself to pay him off ? 4 yrs left of 5 yr deal so big penalties to do it now. I did think that if the bank can see over the next say 2 yrs I can pay on my own I’d have a better chance of them letting me borrow? My parents could pay off some or all of my mortgage and him maybe, but not until four years time so he would have to wait. However I don’t think he will be wanting to force a sale as he has said ge expects me to stay in the house so might be agreeable to wait.

Thanks for reading and getting this far.

Would like to know anyone’s experiences or advice. Thank you

Well the reality is you both have a lot of children and a low income so money for both parties will be tight .

ultimately he should pay cms amount but if he’s paying anything towards mortgage and or rent elsewhere that’s going to be tight short term ( you indicate he’s not paying these so cms is applicable )

Go through cms regardless, it saves any acrimony and they keep tabs on him paying. You should look into porting your mortgage deal to another property if your ex needs the equity out. I found getting all the financial and child arrangements formalized asap will make for a more peaceful way forward. If you stay in the house and he pays maintenance you realistically need to pay the full mortgage to let him get a place of his own. Also make sure he gets a place big enough to fit all 4 kids as you'll end up never getting a break. That might sound fine now but it won't be and it'll be harder to reverse than to make him see from the offset there needs to be times he has them all at once.

Thank you. I am feeling sooner rather than later with divorce proceedings - the financial stuff and children will take longer no doubt.

You need to get the financial stuff and children agreed before a sheriff will approve a divorce. The separation agreement is the important part, try to agree as much as you can between you to keep the costs down. As soon as you start arguing and not being able to agree, the lawyers start cashing in

Go through CMS. I thought it would cause problems so didn't straight away, but actually after his initial shock that I had applied to them it has actually taken away the stress of it all as they are the bad guy and not me chasing. It also means you can budget.

With the children, whatever you do now really will be hard to change in the future so start as you mean to go on. So if you're expecting overnights with him then he needs to sort it that all the kids can stay. And sort out the plan so the routine is set and the kids know when they are going.

With the house, if you pay the mortgage for the next four years he would be entitled to 50% of it all including those four years of payments you have made, unless you get some agreement in place legally now.

Thank you - once things have settled down over the next few weeks, I hope we can discuss the house and come to a reasonable arrangement as to me paying the mortgage on my own and how much equity he might want. Unfortunately just a few months into a 5 yr fix so if I try to get my own mortgage now it will have huge penalties and am not convinced I would qualify for one on my own - my parents will help out but as original post, they are stuck for 4 yrs on releasing money to help me, so he would have to agree to that in some legal document or similar I think, other wise he can back track - will seek some legal advice on that one.

I'm afraid CMS will be your best bet

As for taking over the mortgage you have to be really careful. Your lender will base how much you can borrow on your income rather than if you've been managing the monthly repayments ok. General rule of thumb is 4xincome - maybe 4.5 max but with 4 children the affordability might reduce it down below 4x. Lots of lenders will take into account CMS & UC in addition to your PAYE income.

Once you get to the actual divorce you both need to declare any savings & pensions. You might be able to offset his pension for more equity.....but I expect he'll need as much equity as he can get to put down on a place for him to live.

I doubt he will look to buy, just rent. The thorny problem is the mortgage as I don’t know how much I could borrow - my parents can help but not for a while as currently they don’t have enough liquid assets but will do in a 4 yrs time. So between a rock and a hard place. Thank you.