Offer!

[Yogazmum]

STBXDH has received his CETV which is what I personally thought it would be and quite clearly, a relief to him as it’s a final salary public sector pension!

Form E are done and he’s proposed an offer..
He is being really adamant this is a good deal… his solicitor apparently has said it’s a good deal etc..
I’m under no illusion it’s a good deal FOR HIM!
The offer means I don’t touch his pension!

He’s split it 50/50 with me keeping the house (which I will struggle to keep for long as I’m part time) getting maintenance and then he’s offered me a portion of his lump sum…which I won’t get for another 6 years until he retires.

i feel like I should counteract with a request for more than 50%.
We’ve been together almost 20 years (married 11) I’m older than he is and I’ve been part time for 11 years since having our child. I’ve done the lion share of the childcare, had to turns down promotion several times & my pension CETV is a fifth of what his is!
He’s meanwhile been saving £550 a month into an ISA, pumping money into his pension and has been promoted to a fab role which he loves and which I’ve helped prop up as I’ve taken over the house running etc… to enable the shift pattern and care for our child.

So… am I being greedy… or should I just suck it up!
i could push for an actuary for his pension but I’ve heard mixed things and I want him out of the house as soon as possible . He won’t go until he’s off the mortgage so he can get his own place.

Any advice much appreciated.

Well you also need to work full time, maximise your earnings and pay into a pension from now on

based on what you say you are getting based on his offer a pension share - based on a lump sum in 6 years which can be invested into your own pot ….

you’re also getting maintenance

based on limited info it’s hard to say as will friend on overall asset values but it doesn’t sound as bad as you say based on this post at least

It's a tough one and I don't think anyone can say what is right/not right fair/not fair. I guess the question i would ask is why if your child is 11 you are still part time? You say you gave up promotions but you didn't have to...presumably that was a choice you both made and you benefited by having a less stressful lifestyle and not having to be the main earner? You could have gone back to work full time and then jointly paid for childcare?

I think you're being greedy. 50/50 is normal, I just don't see why you'd get more?

Because it isn't equal- by allowing him to pursue his career whist she cared for the child meant he has an increased earning potential which he wouldn't have had if he had the child to care for.

Also she hasn't been able to pay into her pension - why should she be worse off. The split should be fair, that isn't the same equal.

Will you be able to remove his name from the mortgage on your earnings? I would go for a bigger split.

How much is the house worth (equity)?
How much is his pension pot?
What is the lump sum he's proposing?
How much is your pension pot?
How much other money/things do you have (inc. cars etc)?

Only when you have all this information can you possibly know what's fair

Are you saying you won't get 50% of what is in that ISA?

How much equity is in the house?
What is CETV of each of your pensions?

Are those 4 things the only large marital assets?

If house is too much for OP to maintain, why not sell it & rent or sell & buy a smaller place?

No one is entitled to be a homeowner after divorce.