Do I need Decree Absolute if everything is agreed

[Stripesandstarspink]

My STBX hasn’t applied for Decree Absolute. He applied for original divorce so he needs to do it.

we have a financial order agreed by the court.

does it actually matter if we aren’t divorced, but everything has been agreed legally?

The only benefit I can see is that you can re-marry. I’m not bothered about that. My only concern is he can backtrack on financial agreement

I'm not 100% sure, but I do believe there is an expiry date so you'll need to go through the whole thing again if it's not finished off. Much better to get it sorted now then you can draw a line under everything and move on.

Make sure you make a will if you're going to linger at the separated stage.

If you want to be legally divorced then yes ! And it’s not true that you can’t apply as he was the original instigator as long as you have the decree nici either if you can apply for the absolute .

Financial order has already been signed off by the courts though. don’t think we’d need to go back to it?

my ex is just trying to drag things out.

So I know I could apply, but for a fee.

but now the financial order is done, I don’t really need the divorce- I am never marrying again!! And I’m not sure what other benefits it brings?

I’d double check your financial order - according to gov website ‘The financial order will only take effect after you get your final order or decree absolute.’ This was the case with mine.

If you want financial certainty apply for it yourself.

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/get-court-to-decide

Without getting the decree absolute you are still legally married. If you want a divorce you need to get it.

My ex did this, it made my skin crawl to be married to him so it was a must for me to get it finalized. In Scotland it does need to be the instigator that finalises it, 9 months I waited for his signature 🤬

I suppose there might come a day you want to move on, would be cheaper for you to finish it now than to start again at a later date, also draws a line under it.

You're still married, regardless of financial order so you'll be still liable for 50% of his debt I would have thought.

Also if you don't apply for DA within 12 months you'll have to explain your reasons in court when you do want it.

I can't see any sane reason why you wouldn't put in for the DA.

If you were still legally married and you came into money at some point down the line. Could he have a claim on it?

Op I think if you’re ill or in hospital he’s your next of kin and can make medical decisions if you’re incapacitated. Surely you’d want to end that situation.

Likewise is he still next of kin if you don't have the absolute?

How much did it cost?

Just apply for it op, if you can.

Without it you are still legally married, with all the baggage that entails. He will be your legal next of kin, would be able to make decisions about you if you were incapacitated, and if you were to die stands to inherit everything (is he likely to contest a will? Friend of my mum was separated for 18 years but never divorced, they were friendly and he swooped in after she died and took the lot).

This is the last thing to do, a formality. Don't give him the satisfaction.

Yes, you do need it. Without it you are still married. He is still your next of kin and gets to make your medical and welfare decisions u less you go through the rigmarole of getting POA for someone else. He will inherit when you die, or if you have a will could challenge it. He could potentially benefit from any spousal part of your pension if you have one.

etc etc

He could also renege on the financial side of things and tell the judge that you jointly decided to change things - if you never bothered to get the actual divorce, how will you prove him wrong?

Pay the fee.

I'd do it just for the pleasure of letting him know he doesn't have power over you any more.

Just get it done OP. There are far too many things that could go wrong if he's still your next of kin and you are still connected by marriage. You will also have to explain to the court why it's not been done. Just do it, sever the tie.