Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I don't know what to do with myself

8 replies

thediscoball · 22/08/2024 13:14

I have finally moved out of the same house as my ex, we are separated but still married (unfortunately). I have got myself set up, I like my new place. I've made the kids rooms lovely. I've put the things up that I like and he previously would of said were tat. I've made it my own. I've spent loads of times with my friends. I have a really good bunch around me. I have the kids 50/50, which is hard but I do also enjoy the free time. My friends are all married with kids though, and they have been spending a lot of time with me and I can't expect them to maintain that constantly. I will still always see them once or twice a week but I have 3 days/nights without the kids one week and 4 the next that I struggle to fill.

I don't want another relationship yet at all, but I would like a bit of fun. Dating, maybe a bit of sex. I'm 29 and have honestly had sex only a handful of times in the past 5 years. I just don't know how to get out there, I can't do dating apps as ex will make it miserable for me if I do and he finds out. He said out of respect we don't rush on to the apps etc. I just feel lonely. I want to have some adult male company in my childfree time!

Anyway, the point is I've settled in, I've made it mine, spent time with friends, I've done lots of reading and things for myself etc, but I just feel at a loss with what to do with myself now?

OP posts:
gokartdillydilly · 22/08/2024 13:21

Sod that! He doesn't dictate whether you go online dating or not. How would he find out, unless he was doing it himself? Which he probably already is...

WhamBamThankU · 22/08/2024 13:24

I bet he's on apps already. He's trying to control you.

NPET · 22/08/2024 13:29

Just a suggestion but it "worked" for me. Go to your local library, look at what they offer not just in terms of things to borrow but at clubs and pastimes they run and at other notices they'll have up AND at the guys there! It's a myth that only old sleepy guys go to libraries. I've found decent young ones both in front of and behind the counter! And in a library they're not going to cause you problems because they'll be "dealt with" if they make too much noise or try to hit on you.

Childfreecatlady · 22/09/2024 14:55

Tell him to fuck off, you are separated and can do what you want with your own time.

Cardamomandlemons · 22/09/2024 15:05

Date as much as you want, none of his business
I do also recommend finding divorced friends (both genders)

Freeflight · 22/09/2024 18:48

I think you do what you want. Find things locally that make you smile, film clubs, reading events, local walks etc.
But also if you want to try online sating then that's up to you, not him. On some of them you can block contacts and if he comes across on your app you can block him so he won't come by again.
I would also say that you need thick skin for online dating, and you learn fast as I wouldn't say it's a particularly pleasant experience.

Seaoftroubles · 01/10/2024 18:02

He's got a cheek! He will already be on sites looking around and chatting l bet. Don't tell him what you are doing, its none of his business. Go on a few sites for a browse if you want to.He has no right to try to restrict what you do.

Anonymous150 · 01/10/2024 21:44

Hi I am looking for some advice and not exactly sure where to post it! Sorry I’ve never done this before and not sure where I write it so people (can hopefully) give me some much needed advice. Thank you x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread