TLDR; I made a snide remark after my ex publicly blasted me with lies on FB. I feel like an asshole now.
I recently separated from my ex of 14 years (both 30) mainly because he was sexually coercive for years, became manipulative, and still lived with his mum. I was very clear why I was breaking up with him. The breakup has been rough for me. He immediately started sending me novels professing his love, begging me to meet up and talk, that he would change, and started leaving old presents I made for him on my doorstep. I rarely responded, but when I did I told him I could not talk to him because I needed time to heal and it would be quite a bit of time before I would even consider talking to him. This went on for about a month until he randomly texted me that I was being emotionally abusive? That’s when I was firm with him “stop coming to my house and stop contacting me”. He must have went into a rage because I was immediately blocked on everything. I later found out from a friend that he immediately went to fb to publicly blast me. Said I have BPD (I don’t), that I emotionally abused him the entirety of our relationship (I didn’t), that I started hated him for no reason (didn’t), and that I discarded him (lol). He must have gotten chewed out by someone because he deleted the post then immediately unblocked me on fb and tried calling me. I didn’t answer and didn’t care, we weren’t friends on fb anyways. It did hurt a lot though.
for the record, once or twice in our relationship I had, in passing, wondered out loud “I wonder if I have BPD?”. Basically because I cry easily when someone hurts my feelings and I have low self esteem. Both times he disagreed that I did and I have never ever been diagnosed with BPD. My therapist has even said since “you definitely do not have BPD.”
why I feel bad is because a few days ago I made a post about a wonderful night out I had and at the end said “still don’t have BPD”. Yes, I was feeling a sort of petty vengeance that night but it was meant as a “IYKYK” to my friends.
since then I noticed he reblocked me (should have known he was going to randomly check in to what I was up to) and I have heard he is upping the shit talking around town. I have never shit talked him (outside of my two best friends). I just don’t know if I should be feeling guilty for what I said. I feel bad that he hates me so much now. Idk. I know I can’t text him or anything even though I want to do I don’t know what to do with my feelings right now.
*EDIT: I forgot that at the same time I was blocked he contacted my older brother to tell him that I was mentally unwell and needed professional help and support (I’m totally fine btw…. Just sad lol)