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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I've left him & feel guilty

2 replies

nestingok · 21/08/2024 18:38

When I met my partner, we were both, or so I thought very much in love like the best friend I never had. (Together 3 years) we were in the process of looking for a house together when I fell pregnant. I'm now 21 weeks. (We both have our own houses)

He gradually became abusive to the point I could no longer pass it off as a bad mood, bad day etc.

He'd call my job, my house, my looks, when he'd been abusive he'd say it's the pregnancy's fault and it's ruined us? He called me needy so much when I asked him for nothing, just cuddles.
His affection got less & less & less.

I found that I'd sleep a lot so I didn't feel anything. He'd tell me to go on my anti depressants then when I was on them he'd say "least I don't rely on pills"

One day he'd tell me how much he loves me and I'm amazing. The next week he'd tell me how shit I am. I don't know who I am.

I've left him. I've changed my number the full works. Went to my scan alone today and all was good.
The thing is... he wasn't always a monster. Sometimes he was nice (fake I know) and I really miss that bit. I thought we'd be a happy family & enjoy our boy I'm gutted. But I can never go back.

I'm just hurting xxx anyone been through the same?

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 21/08/2024 18:42

This happens surprisingly often. Men don't actually like being put second to children, and start to act like angry toddlers. They will claim to want children, and once they're a reality, everything changes.

You've done the right thing by leaving him, although unfortunately he's probably going to kick up more of a fuss than he already has.

TheHardySnail · 22/08/2024 11:00

Ive just told my husband of 25 years were done about 3 weeks ago. I feel no feelings at all towards him because hes made me hate him due to the way hes treat me. I've realise after a long time of suffering at his moods that hes a narcissist. He manipulated me and his kids who are now adults and still is to get to me.
I have just lost my dog after 12 years this week too due to epilepsy. I have cried loads for my dog and nothing for him. I feel angry at myself for putting up for so long. Lucky enough kids all understood and understand what im going through and have gone through. Please dont go back this early on seeing red flags; is a big warning. Bring your child up your way . Good luck x

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