Court order for holiday?

[Feelinglikeican987654]

I have asked ex husband for permission to take the children away for 7 nights in May 2025. It will be to Spain for an all inclusive type holiday. I have given him flight details, hotel address and told him I am more than happy for him to have 7 nights for a holiday.

He has said no, his reason is currently DD doesn't want to spend time with him. She is saying her reasons for this is some of his behavior. He doesn't believe this obviously.
He has emailed backed saying until she will come with him for 7 nights he doesn't give permission for me to take them on holiday.

I think there is a court order I can use for this but has anyone had experience of this and what court would likely say. Or how long it normally takes...

How old are the DC?

They are 9 and 10

There’s 2 separate issues really. If your DD does not want to see her DF then I would hope a court would listen to that.

For the holiday, it isn’t a case of tit for tat. Do you have a CAO that says the child lives with you?

You can apply for a specific issues order here

www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/apply-for-court-order

However if you have already got a child arrangements order and a 'lives with' wording, then it should say on the bottom that you can take your child abroad for up to 28 days without the other person with PRs permission.

Other wise go for the specific issues order. Think it costs about £230 but reduced if on a Lowish income (rates are quite generous)

Do you have any court order in place that states you have a ‘lives with’ order? If so you don’t need his permission.

Luckily you have plenty of time to apply to court and they will side with you.

Have you tried mediation? My sister went through a similar issue a year or so after divorce. Despite a court order, the whole child custody side of it was contentious and her ex repeatedly u-turned on things they had agreed until he was forced to acknowledge his responsibilities. They eventually tried mediation (which actually got to the source of the friction he had towards her. But, she had to take the first step and initiate the whole thing even though she was not obliged to….she did it for my nieces sake tbh). There’s lots of family mediators out there that can help. Couple of blog pieces on the topic below….good luck with it all.

https://www.arkmediation.co.uk/post/how-family-mediation-can-help-with-child-arrangements

https://momblogsociety.com/top-5-benefits-of-mediation-for-child-custody-disputes/

Is he saying one can go but the other can’t? Either way he sounds like a dick.

No I don't have a CAO. His reason for saying no is that he won't get to enjoy the same 7 nights holiday with the children as my DD refuses to see him on her own.
He has refused both children going.

He is talking nonsense. No court will stop you taking the kids on holiday just because dad can’t do the same. What if one parent can’t afford it? So that should mean no one can go?

You can apply for a specific issues order. You’ll need a rough idea of dates, location and as much detail as you can get so the court have something to work with. What you’re asking is reasonable, remember that.

He's being a dick but I think y ou're going to have to go through a formal process. You can get a court order as the resident parent, in which case you don't need his permission. Or I think you can ask the court to force him to allow this.

Normally, I'm a big believer in just go anyway but I think in this case, based on what you've said about him, it's entirely possible that he WILL be proactive in ensuring you can't go by alerting authorities or some other trick so I think you do need to formalise this process. His reason for saying no is, of course, bollocks.

Does anyone know if I need a MIAM and how long they are valid?
I did get a MIAM certificate in January but not sure if it runs out.
My solicitor is away until next week!

Specific issues order. Apply yourself, the cost is in the region of £230.

Going forwards you need a child arrangement order which will give you (resident parent) permission to take the DC away any time you like without his permission.

My ex tried this, I applied for SIO and the judge gave me a residency order.

Dick move on your ex's part. Commiserations op.

I'm sorry to say you need a new one . It expires 4 months from when it was signed - which is a bit random really and makes no sense - as it basically says we have tried mediation but either other party doesn't cooperate or you couldn't get an agreement.. that's not something that's going to change in 4 months !

Good luck !

Do you know what happens if he won't go to the mediation? Or is it just I need to go?

If he won't go then they just need to sign to say he won't engage, then straight to court.

Thanks everyone, turns out it's not the destination he is opposing it's the 7 nights.
He knows DD will never do 7 nights with him so it isn't fair.
Put something about his solicitor has advised when DD is happy to do 7 nights with him then it will be fine for us both to have 7 night holidays.
We have 2,2,3 pattern at the moment so no chance to go for the agreed time I have l.

Is your DD seeing him at all?

If there is no court order you can stop the contact just before the holiday and go. Similarly he could just not hand them over to you.

Absolutely go for a specific order now and work on the CAO in parallel.

No she refuses to see him alone. Says she is scared of him. A few months ago he scared her when he fell to the floor and punched it and shouted. There are other things too...

We have been going to family therapy at his request but therapist advised that she needs to be in control for the moment of when she sees him, the pressure needs to come off her. He doesn't like this at all!

I was facilitating contact but have recently said I can't do this anymore - I have suggested people who can but DD won't go without me being there!

Seems unfair that just because she won't go with him for 7 nights we wont be able to have a holiday!

What a twat!

If he has a solicitor then he is getting bad advice. I can't see a Judge blocking you so get proceedings issued for SIO.

Ex tried something very similar, he knew a court wouldn't side with him but he hoped the stress of court would cause me to back down. He eventually pulled put the night before court.

Remember the his solicitor is paid by him, and will write anything his client ( your ex) wants. That doesn't mean it is correct. It isn't.

Go for a single issue order.

Have been through exactly this with my ex and (teen) kids. They reduced contact due to his behaviour towards them and didn't want to go away with him as the previous holiday he 'organised' was a disaster as far as they were concerned. He retaliated by refusing consent for them to travel with me. It's petty and controlling and has worsened their relationship which is very sad.

You do need a MIAM sign off I'm afraid. It's ridiculous - as if they've not been receptive to mediation previously then clearly that is not going to change. I paid £250 for an hour of their time and the signed form. You can then apply to court for a specific issues order. You can indicate urgency if travelling imminently. Court fee was £255 I think (see how this ramps up!). In our online hearing the judge had choice words for my ex and his poor behaviour (he claimed parental alienation and the judge put him right on that and pointed out he was the source of that alienation!) and approved our travel. So all good but with the associated costs & the fact a SIO only relates to one specific holiday, I would apply for a CAO instead as otherwise he will hold you over a barrel each and every time you want to go on holiday. I personally think they should have to pay costs if court goes against them as otherwise they can just continue to rack up your legal costs and make life very difficult for the children and you. Just rip the plaster off and apply for a CAO is def the way to go with idiots like this. Anything which takes away their opportunity to control. Good luck.

Go for the CAO and if you run short of time then get an urgent specific one.