Please help me with logistics of moving out

[ponderingisgood]

am usually a capable woman but my head is exploding with everything I need to do between now and when our house sale completes. I work 45 hours a week and ex who still lives here is being really obstructive . I currently feel it is all so overwhelming that I am doing nothing which doesn’t help.

Would be really grateful if someone could give me a to do list (like you’re telling it to a toddler!) as I really can’t get my head straight.

Rough dates:
Exchange 3/9
Completion 16/9

I will be going into an unfurnished rental much smaller than our current place for 6 months until I hopefully buy somewhere. Only room for a small amount of furniture so planning to get a storage unit as stop gap. I am really wary of doing too much before exchange but need to make my life as straightforward as I can and just be able to go asap.

So with this timeframe and limited opportunity to get everything done where do I start?

My thoughts are:

Get a massive skip now and start getting rid of what me/ex/DC don’t want?
Get everything down from loft and start packing that first?
Start moving bulky bits to the storage unit now? Is that wise before exchange?
Do I use a removal company to move to the flat? I know it will be ££££ but the flat is in the middle of town with no parking and the thought of hiring a van to doing several trips when I don’t even know if I can park outside is 🤯🤯🤯
When do I tell utilities/mortgage company we are going? The mortgage will thankfully be cleared upon completion so do I leave that to the solicitor?
Anything else I haven’t thought of?

I am so very grateful to MN for all the help and support I have had during my divorce. I feel I am in they eye of the storm at the moment and close to breaking but can also see I am nearly there so clinging on 🤞

I would review each activity and see which are dependent on the completion date and which aren’t.

The clear out is going to happen regardless. Honestly you need to start now. I would consider a house clearance service. It may cost but they will clear everything. They will recycle and sell on anything of value rather than dump it.

There are things you could sell yourself and you could get the ball rolling on that.

The same with storage. Things can start going in now or be ready / packed to go.

Utilities are last minute. But you should be looking at readings and making sure you know the cost for the final bill. A lot of that is online.

Sorting through stuff takes time.

You can do some but honestly you are better just hiring storage and putting excess in there.

Then you can sort through in your own time.

I moved out a couple of years ago and it took me a few months to sort through.

I have done this - except I was buying my new home as well (which was a wreck and not habitable so I was moving in with parents for the short term - so putting my stuff in storage temporarily) I sympathise with you as yes it is very stressful.

I take it both you and your ex are moving out if the house is selling?? First of all agree between you different days to move out. Both of you moving out on the same day will not work as it will be chaos. If he wont engage with you - just tell him you will move out first (1 week or few days before completion) Arrange for your tenancy to start a little before your move out date - that way you can start moving bits and pieces in gradually over a few days.

Start your clear out ASAP and then start packing seldom used items now.

Sit down with your ex and decide who gets what in terms of all the big furniture. Again if he wont engage - give him a list of what you think and then wait for any objections to specific items.

Your conveyancing solicitor will deal with the money side of things in terms of paying off the mortgage. Is there going to be any equity left over? I assume you've got an agreement of what happens to that and again your conveyancing solicitor will deal with that.

Make sure you and any children with you will have a bed at the new rental place. So if you're not taking them from the old house get new ones delivered before your move out day. Any other furniture is less urgent and can be sorted after your move day.

Personally I would use a removal company - with me I had a mixture of things going to storage - things that needed dropping off at the new wreck of a house and things I was taking with me to my parents house. Between the removal company and my amazing Dad it all got organised fine and the removal firm were happy to do two drop offs. If did cost a little extra but it was worth it to stop me having a meltdown.

Have a bottle of bubbly/wine/G&T ready to enjoy in your new home at the end of moving day - you will need it. It will be an emotional day whatever your feelings on the end of your marriage are - be kind to yourself on the few days following too and it will get rough for a while - BUT after the you will feel so much better - Promise

When do you get your keys for the rental property? It would be ideal if you could move a few days before completion.

Thank you so much, this is really helpful. Have been dragging my feet with sorting things partly due to lack of time but mostly because teenage DC are so upset

Anyway, I am hoping rental starts as soon we exchange so potentially I've got 2 week to start moving things to the flat and storage.
Do I get the removals to do both parts (flat and storage)? They are about 15 miles apart.
I could hire a van myself and do that part in stages but would be time consuming and stressful.

@ponderingisgood As far as using removals are concerned I guess that depends how tight your budget is. Like I said in my post - for me they were worth it as they took some of the stress. And yes - if you choose a removals firm that offer storage I would use the same company for both.

I was going to use separate removals/storage as a friend is doing me a good deal on storage.

Use a removal company. Worth every penny. For storage and flat.
Get used to being ruthless. Don't look twice. I sent a lot to charity shop.yes, you could sell it, but it could take weeks so it's still cluttering up your place.
Once you think you have done it, start again. I'm still decluttering five weeks after moving

Solicitors will sort things re paperwork and things.

Use a removal company. Anyvan were good and inexpensive. For everyone's sanity, use a removal company.

You will need an exact list for them of what's going where. It's the best money you will spend.
Trust me