Fair split consultation

[MayNov]

Hello,

I just want to start by saying that Imm very thankful to anyone reading this and really appreciate any comments, suggestions or advice.

I'm legally cutting ties with my husband and in preparation for our first amiation meeting I'm contemplating the question of what does a fair split finances situation look like.
We've had a short marriage (4 years) and share the custody of a 3 year old. I've verbally agreed to not make any maintenance demands, which led to him agreeing to give me the majority of our child's custody. We've been living apart for a year, I moved in a rented 2 bedroom flat with my then 2 year old and have depleted my modest savings on the move.

I'm in my early thirties, earn around 30k per year after tax, remote part time job. He's in his early 50s makes around 250k per year after tax, I know this from having looked at his emails.
We don't have any properties or shared savings. He's always maintained he's very poor and has nothing and therefore we've kept our incomes apart. He's always paid for rent and bills, I've always paid for groceries, holidays, dates, his clothes etc. I suspect he has a very large pension.

From research I found that there are several models when splitting finances in this situation.
1 clean break
2 split savings and pensions
3 split savings and pensions acquired during the years we were married. Some add the cohabitation years to the married years
4 number 3 with added spousal support and or custody however because of our verbal agreement I'm hesitant to make any demands.

I'm personally leaning towards number 3 - split savings and pensions acquired during the years we were married. Would that be fair in the eyes of a judge? I would be very grateful for any opinions, advice. Would also be very grateful for any solicitor recommendations. I could only afford one session for some advice, but I think even a short dialogue with a savvy professional might prove helpful.

Get your own legal advice, he's absolutely taking the piss if he's not paying maintenance!

You have a short marriage
youve not sacrificed a career to support him it seems

you can’t forgo child maintenance as that can always be applied undercut cms jurisdiction ( I’m assuming you’re in England/wales)

the law will look at your ability to house yourself and your child adequately and make provision for that in any settlement

pension share-you might get a small amount from that accrued during the marriage but that’s likely to not be material

tiu should get sizeable child maintenance

30k after tax part time is good wage - especially if you return full time

its odd there are no other assets

in your favour is your child
against that balance out
he’s much older and you have much more time to work and build up your own assets / pensions
shirt marriage in which you’ve not sacrificed career

The child is his? The focus of the settlement has to be on your child's financial security, and arrangements that ensure your child is not deprived by living with you.

From what I understand it is very unlikely the court will accept no child maintenance from him to you, especially given the disparity in your earnings. It sounds as if you want to minimise what you gain from the marriage, which would be fine if it was just you but won't wash when it comes to your child.

why wouldn't you want him to contribute financially to your shared child and why is he happy not to??

Yes, of course, he is our child's father.

Had I applied for maintenance he would have gone for 50/50 custody. He's still opt for 50/50 if applied to maintenance. I'd rather have more custody and no maintenance.

That’s a common threat from dads who don’t want to pay. Usually a bluff.

I’d go for number 1, a clean split. You’ve no joint assets so a clean split and then child maintenance every month sounds the fairest way for all

He doesn't pay maintenance. Why would you disadvantage your child even further and not even ask for a fair share of the marital assets?

I'm not planning to, that's why I'm asking what a fair split is

split savings and pensions, plus child support. I would not be terribly worried about him demanding joint custody. A dad who is happy to give it up so he does not need to pay money to feed his own child does not sound like the type who will seriously want to do half the hands on parenting.

Get a solicitor. Your child is entitled to maintenance.

Your child's quality of life should be your overriding priority. Take as much as you can get.

You need legal advice. Your DH is a very high earner and will easily exploit your vulnerability to do you over.

If you said you wouldn't go for maintenance, you could say you do not fully understand the situation and that with more time, you think that's necessary. He's not going to ask for loads of custody at his age with his job.

The child is his. He earns £250k and he doesn't want to support his DC.

Personally I hope you take him to the cleaners. There's nothing fair about this.