Angry Wife

[Taz19]

Is it fair that my wife is demanding half of our savings and £2,000 per month (£1,650 for child maintenance and £350 extra) as we separate after 19 years of marriage? Despite efforts from mutual friends to negotiate, she insists on this amount, calling it “compensation.” She’s also walking away with £95k from our savings, which I was saving for us to buy our next house.

She claims I wasn’t a proper husband, citing our lack of intimacy, which led her to have multiple affairs. I’ve tried to forgive her and improve our relationship because I deeply love our children and want them to grow up in a stable, happy home. My priority has always been their well-being and happiness, which is why I’ve put their needs and my family’s needs before my own.

I earn £50k annually, and she earns £35k. I’ve always supported her career and education. Her demands leave me with little, making it challenging to provide a stable home for our children. How should I handle this situation?

What does your solicitor say?

The reasons of the break up won’t affect the financial settlement. Contact a solicitor to remove the emotional side of things and they can advise you on what to expect with regards to a financial settlement. As we don’t know your accounts in detail, it would be impossible to advise.

You need legal advice not mumsnet or mutual friends. And forget all about fairness: financial settlements are based on need and not on what’s fair or why the marriage ended.

When it gets to this point you need proper legal advice. Her claim you weren’t a proper husband (true or not), your claims she had multiple affairs (true or not) don’t matter. They aren’t taken into account.

one doesn’t earn vast amounts more than the other. How assets are split is likely to come down to who has the kids the majority of the time and, perhaps future earning potential. But the devil is in the detail so get legal advice.

I very much doubt, based on what you said she would get the majority of assets plus 2k per month. But again, the devil is in the detail

Based on the Child Maintenance calculator (assuming you have 2 children together), you should be paying her £667. If kids are with you every other weekend then it is reduced by further 1/7th, that will be around £571. 99% she will not be entitled to any spousal maintenance. Apoint a solicitor to send her this in writing with what you’re proposing and if she is still being silly then the court route is the only way (you will have to attend mediation first, which can shed her a light at how unreasonable the demands are). It will cost a lot of money but surely better to have a clean break from her so all your future earnings and assets can be protected?

Why are your mutual friends doing the negotiations?? Get legal advice and stop engaging with her!

Work out child maintenance based on your earnings, number of children and nights you have them. It won’t be £1650

she won’t be awarded spousal maintenance

then look at your total joint assets and arrive at a split - based on your salaries you should be both looking to a near 50:50 of those

To quote the old MN sayin 'is she on glue'?

your take hone on 50k is what? 3k per month ? And she thinks she’ll get £2k of that, plus the assets. Definitely she is in for reality check

shell get near 50% of assets and the cms calculated maintenance amount. Thats it

Not in a million years.

Not being snarky but you don't earn anywhere near enough to pay what she has on her wishlist.

Spousal maintenance is for millionaires essentially. Well. £350k per year and up.

The child maintenance is virtually treble the maximum she'd get.

Go to a lawyer. And when they've stopped laughing, they'll tell you what she's entitled too. Child maintenance of max £650 a month. And some of the savings.

Good luck

Looks like OP dumped and ran.