Doubting myself all the time

[Questionsandheartache]

It's been years coming, but now I'm doing it I keep thinking what if I'm wrong. What if I could just keep it together, he's not that bad, it'd be ok. I'm ending over 20 years of partnership and there will be so many adjustments and a reduction in quality of life for everyone.

Today I paid the fee and the solicitor is sending the application to the court, or whatever it is they do. And I feel like an awful person and wonder if I'm making the worst mistake.

Please tell me if you felt like this and got through it. I don't want a pity party, but some positive thoughts would be good.

If you know, you know.
It's perfectly normal to have doubts and what ifs. But when it's over, you know in your heart. And you will get through it.

Going through that right now. Several months down the line since telling the kids, family, friends, we still are living together as have to wait to sell our home to facilitate the split (cannot afford rent on top of a mortgage!). Have spent years thinking about it, and the reality of finally going through with it still feels surreal months on. Same as you, he's not a bad man, we've not had a bad relationship, there's just something missing and deep down I know it's the right thing..,,take yourself back to all the times you've thought about it.,,,truly happy people don't do that. My counselor has encouraged me to journal. Some days it's just a complete brain and emotion dump, but it's a useful tool to look back on when I'm having doubts. You've done the hardest part- backtracking now will only cause further distress/confuse everyone involved in my opinion. Good luck OP. Stay strong, you're not alone x

You got to this point for a reason. It's so hard to end a long marriage but you did it. Remember why it wasn't working for you.
I felt the same, but it's just self doubt and fear talking. Now, 3 years on, whenever i talk to my ex I'm so glad I don't live with him anymore.
Good luck

Thhlank you for the replies.
You're all right of course, and I know it deep down. @beachdays4 Your counsellor sounds helpful. I've been journalling for the past year and it definitely helps.
Thank you