Divorce - Legal Aid vs Borrowing Money for Private Solicitor

[GreyBird777]

Going through divorce from abusive partner, we have kids, ex earns big salary. I am the SAHW with no meaningful income and a bit of savings. Still living in same home for now. Ex abandoned mediation and is lawyered up!

Ex has cut me off, stopped allowance and cancelled credit card, calls me a parasite if I ask for money for a bus ticket when not allowed to use the car etc. and wants courts/solicitors to handle everything for finances and child custody that he can easily afford.

Desperate to avoid wasting tens of thousands on fighting via solicitors as I don't have that sort of money or mental strength.

My best friend suggested legal aid as abuse and no income, or borrow (never borrowed in my life) / reach quick agreement (he knows I have little money) / find a solicitor who will be happy to be paid at the end from financial split (do any exist??). Have spoke to a solicitor who estimated over £4k just to try and reach an out of court settlement on finances - that would swallow almost all my savings.

But I have heard bad things about legal aid solicitors - both in being newly qualified at best, and spending little time on cases. I will only get one go at this and worry by trying to penny-pinch on legal support I am jeopardising my / kids future.

Has anyone used a legal aid solicitor for family matters, and if so what was your experience?

What happens if you have a private solicitor but your money runs out before the end?

I am so overwhelmed!

I assumed getting legal aide because of dv would need it to be proven so I didn't go down that route despite needing support from dv services to break free.
I paid a couple of the bill in the low hundreds out of my savings and am now paying of a chunk every month by standing order.
4k to reach an out of court settlement sounds optimistic, it's probably what I will reach and my ex isn't the wealthy fight to the death type, just a stubbon knob end.

This is a concern for me too, I don't know if I have the strength to prove DV on top of everything else going on and I'll only get punished for it down the line with all the ways rich ex's can abuse the process, turn kids/family/friends against me

Is your solicitor letting you pay in instalments and then final balance at the end once finances sorted? I don't know how any SAH parent's afford it when you've also got to pay all sorts of housing costs before you can sell and can access equity in the family home.

How old are the dc? Am hoping he's still paying all household bills, food etc

7 and 1, and most bills paid but I get a lot of abuse for not paying half from remaining savings.

GreyBird777 I don't know if I'll need to stump up the balance when it's all signed off in court, it was surprisingly casual the way it was set up. I asked if I could pay monthly and the finance person at rhe firm basically said yeah sure, pay what ever you like as long as it's a monthly standing order.... so I picked an amount I could just about afford.
I agree, it isn't financially possible for many women to leave shit marriages, I work , bought the bulk of the money into the marriage with me and left with just enough to keep the house I originally financed. But I don't have to deal with exh every day any more.