13 year old voice in court for custody? - and experiences of child-inclusive mediation?

[TheWorstWitch99]

I am wondering about going back to court for a change in main residence for my 13 year old son, who is pleading with me to do so. He is currently living with his dad, who won a court case (with lies and expensive lawyers) when he was 8. (We can’t do 50:50 because live 2 hours away). It would be really helpful to know other people’s experiences of going to court with children this age - did the children get to make the decision? He has ASD but is very bright and rational and I think will make his wishes clear. I presume the other side might use parental alienation arguments so experience of those in cases involving teenagers would be helpful too, and I would love to hear if anyone has tried child-centred mediation (and recommendations for London-based child-inclusive mediators would be extremely helpful too!) His dad shouts at him much of the time (DS’s mental health is declining rapidly, I think as a result) and there has been some negligence that I can prove. Ex-H would have expensive lawyers and I would be representing myself so I think I can only do this if I am confident my son’s voice will be listened to.

In most cases, mediation is a compulsory pre-requirement to issuing an application to vary a child arrangements order anyway, so you have nothing to lose but trying it at least.

Child inclusive mediation is likely to be more beneficial for a child that age who can express their wishes and feelings.

Their wishes will be accounted for but they don't get to decide entirely. It will depend on the child in each case and if your child has additional needs the court would pay attention to how that might impact their ability to express their wishes clearly.

I'm afraid there isn't a blanket rule as one for all.

You can find local mediators through the search function on family mediation council website and tailor it to show only those who are qualified to speak with children too.

Hope that helps