Is this legal?

[Inthedarkkkk]

I had twins plus a 10 month baby. My parents lent me a lot of money (40k) from their house sale to pay for city based childcare for all 3 so I could go baxk to my career. My parents wrote an email to me that said "you can pay us back when you can. If you ever can". It has never been mentioned but I suspect they've changed their will to reflect it, presuming I csnt pay it back. Which I can't.

That was 5 years ago. I'm now looking to divorce my H.

Can I get my parents to ask for the money back and then remortgage the house to 40k and then transfer it back to them - before instigating the split. Meaning it won't be included in the split of assets?

This might be one for the legal section or better yet a lawyer, it's very specific. I think without something signed and dated at the time to say it's a loan its unlikely. If your H is also on the mortgage or title you'd probably need his agreement to extend /redraw on the mortgage anyway. Do you think he'd agree to that? If it's close to when you tell him you want a divorce it might look like you're hiding assets in court.

I also had twins and a 3rd child and my parents lent me money towards childcare - however I paid them back a small amount every month - when my ex husband and I divorced I was able to show the regular payments over 2 years and my ex husband agreed for the loan to be included on the divorce calculations (i showed it as one of "my" liabilities so demonstrated that he was accepting less equity because I was taking on the long term debt repayment if that makes sense)

The danger of you remortgage now to return the £40k is that highly unlikely you'd be able to do another remortgage then to pay your ex off so you'd have to sell

If his babe is in the mortgage he will need to agree to remortgage

it’s also sneaky

during mediation/ divorce proceedings why not simply declare you have a loan to pay back so that is given consideration and he may be jointly liable ? Much more ethical

The first legal question is whether that debt is enforceable. See your own OP as to whether it is. Then the question is whether it is a marital debt to be shared between you.

You will need to get legal advice before you try to enter this into the negotiation. Because it brings a lot of bad faith on your side.

Agree with previous two posters - that's what I did with - it was agreed that it was a marital asset however I would take the responsibility post divorce of paying it off - and on that basis he accepted less equity

Is the house in both your names? If so, he would have to agree to the re-mortgage.

Thank you. That makes sense and is more transparent. I'll say it's a loan that paid for childcare and it has to be paid back therefore is a joint liability. I'll check the wording of the email but there was no formal loan agreement certainly.

You should check whether the loan can be enforced. The when you can clause is the problem.

If as part of the process of negotiating a settlement there is full financial disclosure exchanged then they will see from your bank statements what has happened.

Even if you don't do full financial disclosure then you will have to disclose an overview of your financial situation to the court when you apply to have any agreement approved and if you were to knowingly not mention the recent transfer of £40k then that may possibly be considered misleading the judge.

You may want to get some advice about a formal loan agreement rather than a simple e-mail. Loans from relatives without proper paperwork are often considered 'soft loans' which are determined as unlikely to be repayable. That might be more of an argument against you in your situation as the e-mail you describe is very general about if repayment will be made i.e. 'only if you can' etc.

Hope that helps.