Not sure I can afford a house!

[GirlFromTheNorthernLand]

Hi,

Long divorce coming to an end soon and the family home is set to go on the market next week.

I have, reluctantly, accepted a 50% of the house and to leave pensions and stbx's inheritance (another house) alone. Married late 1990's so it's a long marriage.

I have paid solicitors for over 3 years and have put everything on credit card £15k!!! I am not happy about this as they have done nothing for me and I ended up calling it a day with the solicitor after realising my daughter was going without things she needed. It was becoming a struggle.

I have put everything on an interest free credit card for a year but have to pay a minimum payment of £600-£700 a month. This is coming out of my current disposable income and means I have less in the pot for myself and my children. The kids are now 20 and 16 so older and both do now stay with their dad a bit. I'm happy with that. I was planning on paying the credit card off once the house is sold. House is going on the market for £270k (north east). I think, by the time things are paid, I will have £120k, which isn't a lot!! Houses that are suitable are in the £250-£285 region and, at my age (52), I don't want to get saddled with mortgage payments that will eat up all of my disposable income. I've worked hard and feel like I've lost everything. I don't want to end up not having a life. I like to have an annual holiday, a few weekends away each year etc. My job is stressful and I need some time for enjoyment.

I have a pension (NHS) but I was part time for 12 years when the kids were younger.

Does anyone have any words of encouragement or ideas on what I can do as I'm envisaging living in a caravan!!

I think you are going to have to accept that as a couple you could afford a 270k house, holidays away etc but won't be able to maintain a"suitable" 250k house without a mortgage. It seems like you have a reasonable income if you can pay 700 a month on the credit card.

You may still have to adjust your expectations e.g to a 2 bed terrace or similar if you don't want a big mortgage.

Depending on where you are in the North East & what “suitable” means to you, you could probably find something cheaper. For example Hebburn, Jarrow, South Shields area you could comfortably find a 3 bed house for less than 200K. It might not be amazing or your dream home, but if I was you I’d rather have a smaller mortgage paid off even if you said over the next 10 years and as you say be able to spend your money on enjoying life! X

I will be downsizing but will still need 3 bedrooms. Family home has 4.

I'm paying the credit card but struggling with it. I know I can pay it off when the house sells but it's made me realise that I will struggle to pay a mortgage on my own and still have anything left to live. I don't want to live like that.

I'm North Yorks.

Unfortunately as PP says, as part of a couple with 2 incomes, you could afford that house price with holidays/treats etc. As a single person with only 1 income, you can’t- not many people can.

Your only options really are to downsize, choose a smaller/cheaper property, maybe in a different area, and have the spare money for holidays OR buy the house you want and sacrifice holidays etc.

Can you afford a flat though?

It's really tough. As a single person same age I have sadly never been able to buy a house. Rented within my means which meant I slept downstairs, children had bedroom.
I know it's not great but would that be an option for you?

Maybe take this opportunity to move somewhere slightly more affordable. Still within N Yorks but a.littlw further out from where you currently are?

I found this property on the Rightmove Android app and wanted you to see it: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/150343976

This might not be your preferred area but it's a lot of house for 150k.

If your STBX is rehoused through his inheritance, why are you only getting 50% of the former marital home though? This does not seem equitable. How much are the CETVs for the pensions? You should not come off worse, presumably you bore the brunt of the child rearing years whilst he was full time?

I think your settlement sounds unfair and weighted towards your STBX. Your lawyers don't sound very effective.
Can you revisit this with them?
Sounds like you should be getting more than 50% of the house sale proceeds and also a share of his pension.

Do you really need a 3 bed if you have a 20 yr old?
How about a 2 bed terrace? Maybe use the second reception room as a 3rd bedroom but presumably your eldest will move out at some point?

Am surprised you’re not getting any reflection of the reduced pension you have because of the caring years.
I split and needed to house three young adults. Bought a house where the living room can be a bedroom. You could do same with a 2 bed? Or why can’t one live with DH? Why do you have to house the children and live on a reduced pension?

Long story but the solicitors just dragged it out. I went through menopause and had a couple of personal tragedies throughout the time it was going on. They wanted me to go to court, and I've have probably got more, but I wasn't emotionally/mentally able to. I walked away. I am now representing myself and sorting the final bits of the divorce out.

I think I will probably have to look at a 2 bed. My eldest is actually looking to move in somewhere with his girlfriend once they finish university and he has been staying at university this last year. He is commuting this year though.

I keep wondering about pension and whether it's a good idea to stretch out the mortgage over a longer term (so, into retirement) but then think that's a dumb idea.

There was a 3 bedroomed cottage I had my eye on in a nearby village but it's sold.

I got rid of the solicitor 6 months ago. It was draining me of money.

@Gamergirl86
Nice house, wrong location. Too far from where I need to be anyway.

Honestly I think you should not be accepting 50% of house alone

you must consider the other house and his pension to get a fair deal.

this could make a sizeable difference to your settlement

I have, reluctantly, accepted a 50% of the house and to leave pensions and stbx's inheritance (another house) alone. Married late 1990's so it's a long marriage.

This is utter madness!

I think its worth finding a tough lawyer and spending some cash negotiating a better deal before its too late. I had to do the same when I divorced and it was pricey but well worth it in the long run (pension sharing and more than half of the house).
Try to look at the long term picture if you can?