How much could a divorce cost?

[mamatothreebunnies]

he’s the only earner and I have my own business but can’t afford to pay myself yet. 14 years married. 3 kids. Typical narcissistic emotionally abusive husband. He’s made it clear he wants a divorce (sees it easier than dedicating time to therapy and making it work)

how much does a divorce cost? I get it could vary but just ball mark figure as I have no idea.

also we have a large mortgage. How does splitting a house work when he’s the only one paying into the mortgage (for the last 3 years) but I had contributed previous to that when I was employed.

am I going to be financially screwed? He reassured me all these years not to pursue my career as he would focus on the money and that I should focus on raising the kids and looking after the house (even though I’ve always actually had a job be it part time or full time but not very well paid)

he earns 150k+, has give own business and have decent saving

A divorce costs under £600 if you do it yourself online. The financial split is where you need a solicitor.
To start with you need to look at splitting the house and his pension 50:50, though that might vary depending upon circumstances.

As much as you make it! If you agree on everything you can do it online for about 600quid, I did twice. My last one was nearly 25k as we argued about the finances.

It’s the financial settlement that is costly and that depends how much you can agree the split between you vs how long you both drag it out to court

youre entitled to a fair share irrespective of who paid, but you’ll also be expected to maximise your own income.
possibly the house will need to be sold

you’ll need to start understanding what assets there are including equity, pensions, savings and other to get a view on what the pot is and what a fair settlement looks like.

how old are the children?

Children are between 3 and 10. He has lots of assets in form of shares in various businesses he’s invested in (using our household income). Does anyone know if he’d be forced to sell those shares in order to split? What about savings in offshore accounts?

how could I maximise my earnings when he’s made me put my career on hold for the last 10 years to raise the family? I made zero progress salary wise. what about the businesses I’ve supported him to establish by again, looking after the family so he can go on his 30 work trips a year? I can just imagine he’d try to downplay everything so he doesn’t have to give me and the kids more than the bare minimum.

Mine cost me over £60k as my ex is an abusive man. Had no other choice to get my share of the assets but to take and keep taking him back to court. The judge did make him pay me £10k towards my legal costs but I'd still go less than 50%.

All assets will be in the pot, shares, investments, equity, businesses

by maximise your income , means most likely you won’t get ( long term spousal) and will be expected to pay your own way with full time work / pt + benefits + cms going forward.

You’ll be assessed as being able to earn your own income. You might get some spousal support for a few years to help enable that, or you might have enough to essentially capitalise that eg get 60% assets vs 50% but no spousal ( figures just illustration)

Do it online for £600 - don't make the mistake I did by getting a solicitor involved with the financial stuff. They, deliberately, drag it on to cost you more. I've ended up with nothing more than what I would've got had we gone 50% on the house. It's cost me £15k in solicitor fees and they did sod all!!

Mine was about £6.5k all in - the bulk of which was sorting finances, I said right at the start what I wanted £ wise and got exactly that after some back and forth and exh solicitor was crap and D81s had to keep being redrafted to fix typis clerical errors. In my favour, the pension % has increased in value so the heel dragging has benefitted me. Must chase that up actually as getting close to the 4 month transfer deadline.

This will vary depending on what happens and who you use but as a general rule:

If you do the divorce yourself then it's only the £593 court fee and you might be eligible for a remission on that depending on your income.

If you reach a full agreement on the finances then it's just having a solicitor prepare an order for you and the application to the court for that to be approved which also requires some forms. Average is around £1500 for the order and the court fee for the application is currently £53.

That is on the basis you reach a full agreement though and it depends what is involved i.e. if pensions are being arranged then you'll probably need advice from an actuary = more cost.

If you end up in contested proceedings then yes it will likely get very expensive and very quickly.

Hope that helps.

A female relative is going through the divorce process (instigated by her husband out of the blue). He's being "difficult" with the financials and it's proceeding to court later this year (again his instigation). They long since passed the £50k mark in legal costs. I dread to think what the final tally will be. 🫣

Not to distract from the original topic here but if someone is being 'difficult' then conversations should be had with the solicitor acting for your female relative about a costs argument against the husband because of 'conduct' but it depends if what he is doing is actually wrong or just wrong in her eyes.

How long is a piece of string. In laws spent north of 60k in their very acrimonious divorce.

The divorce is £573 ish. But I've paid my solicitor £10k but it was 100% necessary.

Both of you have to fill in a Form E where you both have to tell the truth.

I stayed at home and he worked. He had to give me a lump sum as he and more cash and I'm getting more than 50% of the house, 75% of his pension and I live in the home while it's all being done. If some of his assets do well he'll be much better off than me but mine is guaranteed and that's better for me.

A lot of my knowledge is secondhand, other family members are certainly supporting and helping as best they can. I live at a distance. No one in the family has any real experience of what divorce looks like up close so they are all doing their best.

Being 'difficult' means things like not completing the paperwork/form E etc in a timely fashion, information missing/undeclared perhaps on purpose, perhaps ineptitude (although he would be deemed a high flier), not funding the joint account as per mediation agreement, cancelling direct debits that absolutely need paying and so on.

Her life has been hell since this all started. I do think the legal team have not been terribly proactive from all accounts. Not the shit hot lawyers that I hope exist to help the great ladies of MN!

Hopefully the courts will resolve it somewhat in her favour...he deserves a comeuppance...absolute dick

Done mostly by yourself with just the solicitor to ok the financial aspect around £6k.
Anything more than that, arguing about the split etc it’ll add up. I know people who have spend £60-70k and more in an acrimonious split when there is a lot of money involved