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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Really need advice - please read.

5 replies

Violet26x · 06/08/2024 15:12

Me & My ex partner, father of my child split up over a year ago, he was domestically violent to me, and I hid it from everyone, as he made me a shell of the person I once was, he bullied me, used controlling behaviour and would physically push, grab and throw things at me on a daily to weekly basis, he blamed his alcohol and drug problems at the begging and then it was his mental health, we broke up back last year and then it came to light he was having an affair for over a year prior in our relationship also, he has seen our child 4 times in over a year, not send any money since before Christmas 2023, and has let our child down on many occasions. My child seen him and his partner around July 2024 and she came home saying he had ‘threatened’ to take her to Devon where they live, she is absolutely petrified of the thought of this, I’ve been to the police made a statement and they are waiting to arrest him, (The CPS have already accepted it as there is evidence) but he is emailing me daily constant threats about social, mediation, courts and I’ve been advised by the Police not to reply or contact him, a family member has acted as a 3rd party to explain I’ve just my PR to stop contact who I was advised by, by ressilent families, I am so scared he’s going to unleash that demon he is and turn up at my front door, my partner works daily and I’m here on my own a lot.

my question is is there any advice there on what I should fo now? I’m waiting to hear from mediation who I will tell the situation to but the police haven’t arrested him yet, and he’s not allowed to find out on the fact they think he could be a flight risk and what he could do if he found out before they arrest him, they are not rushing due to him living over 5 hours away from us.

im scared for my welfare and my child’s, my child is 5 and has started therapy today as they are ‘role’ playing bad daddies, daddies who take away children and some memories she shouldn’t have about when we were together, I am so anxious all the time and it’s making me feel really worried and uncomfortable.

has anyone been through something similar?

if you’re still reading this; thank you for taking time out of your day, I appreciate it x

OP posts:
FatfunandADHD · 06/08/2024 15:41

I am not an expert but I do not think you should be mediating with someone like this!

Which one of you moved away when you split up?

Violet26x · 06/08/2024 15:54

He moved away, and no I know I wont be able to attend mediation as I’m not allowed contact with him, and when he is arrested he will be told not to come anywhere near myself or my child, but because it hasn’t happened yet I’m worrying what he could do In the meantime, when I speak to mediation and explain they can’t allow me too, I’ve never had to deal with this so I’m so confused x

OP posts:
Violet26x · 06/08/2024 16:59

FatfunandADHD · 06/08/2024 15:41

I am not an expert but I do not think you should be mediating with someone like this!

Which one of you moved away when you split up?

He moved away, and no I know I wont be able to attend mediation as I’m not allowed contact with him, and when he is arrested he will be told not to come anywhere near myself or my child, but because it hasn’t happened yet I’m worrying what he could do In the meantime, when I speak to mediation and explain they can’t allow me too, I’ve never had to deal with this so I’m so confused x

OP posts:
BloodyAdultDC · 06/08/2024 17:54

Mediation is never, ever recommended when there has been abuse.

Pixiedust1234 · 06/08/2024 18:38

I think you would benefit from talking to someone from Women's Aid. They will understand your fears and understand the process. They can give you the emotional support that you desperately seem to need ❤ You can email or use the chat function or just call. Good luck.

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

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