Seeing someone else. Should I ask him to leave

[BabyRocco]

I found out 2 weeks ago that my husband of 23 years is having an affair. This is not the first time. 7years in he did exactly the same but we decided to give it another go. Although things were not great I got pregnant with our 4th child so I stayed even though the trust had gone. 15 years on, 4 kids, a lovely home, great standard of living we were not happy and hadn’t been for a while. The OW lives in the USA (she works for him) obviously younger, and they have been talking for months and on a recent business trip they slept together and now are apparently in a relationship with ‘real feelings’ involved. I’m absolutely devastated. My whole life has been blown up and he is strolling around without a care in the world. I told him to leave (then told him he could stay and that i could deal with) He is constantly messaging her and they talk every day/night. He is going back there in few weeks for ‘business’. He has also discussed living there. We are due to go on a family holiday this week but I don’t know if I can handle that. My 14 y/0 absolutely dotes on her dad and is finding it so difficult to come to terms with what he has done but desperately wants him to come on holiday with us. I don’t know what is best. Our marriage is done, we have instructed solicitors already so the divorce is happening. I find it so disrespectful the way he is behaving like the last 20+ years never happened and somehow I’m to blame for his infidelities. Should I ask him to move out and not come on holidays with myself and my Dd.(my other 3 children are all grown ups) I’m so confused /hurt / devestated I don’t know what to do for the best. Any advice or similar situations. What did you do?

I completely understand how you feel. Your husband was given one chance after the last affair- he blew it.... he's walking around without a care because a new life all lined up.

He's quite happy to leave you and your child whilst he's off on his "business" trip. He does not get the right to go on holiday playing happy families- no he does not get to go!
Make that clear. Your daughter would much rather have a peaceful time with mum than two parents who are divorcing. That's the reality- so sorry OP 😞

I am so sorry for you that you are going through this. After 16 years of marriage my h had an affair. My divorce came through last week just before what would have been 25 years married. Divorced over something else.

With kindness, it isn't for your DD to decide if he comes on holiday with you. He'll always be her dad but he won't be your husband and you need to make the decisions.

I suggest you say when he goes to the US, funnily enough where my ex h OW lived, then he needs to understand he won't be coming back to live in your home.