I would like to leave my H for good. There is no love there anymore. We don't fight but just function. He doesn't seem to like me very much to be honest. And we have nothing in common anymore.
He is fine with the kids, playful and loving. But he also has quite shaky mental health. So he's fine if everything is good - but if we have a fight, or something happens at work - he spirals a lot. He can become quite erratic, talking to himself, or become v withdrawn. It usually only happens for a few days and he always puts on a brave face for the kids. When we do disagree though - he can be very vicious - calling me 'stupid bitch/cunt' etc and behave unpredictably (not taking kids to school or something) - but that is very rare and has only happened when we have been in a really bad place and he thinks I might leave. It doesnt happen anymore because I ensure it doesn't by not rocking the boat.
I feel like I'm jumping into the unknown. He is so unpredictable. If i leave - it could be OK eventually OR he might really have a breakdown/become v angry/scary - I feel like I have no idea how bad he might get - he's certainly got v v angry in front of kids and also can start having spasms, tics.
Things are calm at home and have been for the whole year. I know I don't make it sound like they are - but I know how to manage it all and honestly 95% of the time, the kids are laughing, cuddling and we are all good. But I'm not happy. I'm pretending to keep him happy.
But if I leave the fear that his MH will get worse and the kids will be at risk - I can't stop thinking about it. I keep reading stories of abusive or unstable dads being given full access and terrible terrible things happening to them.
How do I stop this happening? Will the family court or a good lawyer be able to protect my kids if he starts behaving dangerously in any way?
I can't risk anything happenign to them, so I'm stuck.
If I could guarantee that we could split custody and they woudl be safe - I'd leave tomorrow. But I can't - so what do I do? I