Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Child Maintenance

4 replies

No1toldmeaboutit · 30/07/2024 16:02

My exH has recently increased the nights the kids are with him, he previously had them 2 nights a week and he now has them 4 nights one week and 3 nights the next, I think he believes he has them 50/50 on this basis, however I have them for 5 nights then 4 nights so he does not. The issue is that we do not work on a 7 day week due to his shift working so the pattern is over 16 nights and not 14 and goes as such:

Him - 4 nights
Me - 4 Nights
Him - 3 nights
Me - 5 nights

And repeat.

He previously had to pay £300 a month, he has not been making these payments since he increased his nights, I updated the CMS with the new arrangement and they have rejected the request saying the payments were to remain the same.

My issue here is that I am happy for him to pay less as he is having them more but I think think he needs to make some sort of contribution for them even if its minimal. In addition I usually pay all their lunch monies whilst they are in school which comes to around £130 a month and buy their uniforms, he just buys spare shirts and trousers/skirts for his own house.

Can anyone suggest a fair way to broach this? I want to suggest something to him that is fair and reasonable for both of us and just wondered if anyone had any suggestions? I think the split is actually 60/40 in my favour.

OP posts:
obsessedwithfreshbread · 30/07/2024 16:56

The way we work it is the house they wake up in is responsible for everything the may require that day lunches/clothes/toiletries/activities etc up until the point of switch over.

So the DSC have always had packed lunches when with us, school dinners when at mums.
Dance falls on mums day and we have no involvement so we don't pay anything towards that etc.

FatfunandADHD · 30/07/2024 17:02

Does this pattern continue during school holidays?

If no CMS then as PP says everything gets split 50/50 so one of us buys the school shoes and the other pays half or pays for the football boots etc.

Lunch should be paid for depending on whose day it is.

No1toldmeaboutit · 31/07/2024 09:18

yes this pattern continues all year regardless off what day it is, he has them on his days off and no extra in the school holidays which makes it difficult for me as I work regular office hours but that’s another story.

the school lunch money is topped up online which I do as only one parent has access to this.

there is CMS as it’s not 50/50 but I’m happy to agree something outside of CMS that is fair and reasonable

OP posts:
Needanadultgapyear · 03/08/2024 08:50

The CMS work on number of nights per year which for him is 159 per year ( divide 365 by 16 and times this by 7 to reflect the 7 nights in 16 he has them). This falls into to the 3rd CMS banding for calculation.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page